I Want to Trust You, but I Don'tনমুনা
What We Must Remember in the Midst of Our Suffering
I’ve been sitting with a sentence I wrote in my journal recently: “Trusting God is holding loosely the parts of my life I want to hold most tightly.”
It is true. God can be trusted. And God sometimes allows things to happen that bring deep sorrow. Can I really simultaneously trust Him while soaking my pillow with tears?
Sorrow makes us hurt, grieve and feel out of control. Sorrow makes us feel anxious. Sorrow can sometimes feel like pouring gasoline on our doubts. Most of us have heard the verse 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you” (NIV). Yet, we still find that hard to do when our pulse is racing, our heart is sinking, and our face is wet with tears. However, if you keep reading 1 Peter 5, you’ll see verse 7 is referring to the kind of anxiety associated with suffering. And the only instruction we are given before the command to cast our anxiety on Him is to humble ourselves:
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
My friend Meredith will often remind me of a challenge she received from the Lord: He can’t lift an unbowed head.
What a powerful visual.
When we keep looking at outcomes we think are best and become fixated on the idea that our vision for our future is the only good one, our necks will become stiff from all that straining. But if we bow our heads in humility, we are in the right position for God to lift us up and point us in the direction He knows is best.
I guess this is part of what I’ve been missing.
Bowing instead of running.
Bowing instead of fixing.
Bowing instead of trying to make sense of stuff that may never make sense in our limited human minds.
Bowing instead of resisting Him.
Bowing instead of distrusting Him.
Bowing when things seem to be turning around.
Bowing when things fall apart again.
And bowing when the suffering makes us wonder about the goodness of God.
I’ve read these verses in 1 Peter many times, but I never tied this to my suffering. I never realized that suffering is actually a sign God is leading us in the exact right direction toward redemption. Suffering isn’t a pitfall preventing our redemption. Suffering isn’t proof that we should doubt God’s goodness. Suffering doesn’t mean that trusting God is too risky.
Suffering is our reminder to stay closer to God than ever before and not to resist His leading. God’s way is the right way no matter how confusing it gets along the way. And God’s time is the right time no matter how untimely it seems to us.
RESPOND: What does bowing in humility before the Lord look like for you personally in this season? How are you challenged to trust more deeply in God, even as you face suffering?
If you’ve found yourself dealing with the aftermath of betrayal or heartbreak, wondering when God will eventually make things right, Lysa TerKeurst would love to be the friend who gives you space to acknowledge your hurt, process some hard questions, and find the healing perspectives your heart needs. Get your copy of her new book, I Want to Trust You, But I Don't: Moving Forward When You're Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment to start making progress today! www.IWantToTrustYouButIDont.com
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About this Plan
What do I do with my doubts about God when He allows bad things to happen? Lysa TerKeurst has experienced this kind of deep wrestling through her own heartbreak. Through three days of scriptural wisdom and personal story, Lysa will help you start living assured of God’s goodness even in circumstances that don’t feel good or look good right now.
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