Good Grief: Living and Learning Through Loss a 7-Day Plan by Maya J.T. Dawsonনমুনা

Day 6: Accepting Acceptance

Acceptance can be quite the dichotomy. On one hand, it means having to concede or give up. While on the other hand, it means gaining approval or access. Honestly, acceptance is about both. The kingdom of God shows us the two are connected. We cannot win without first losing. And we cannot experience true life without first embracing death.

Jesus modeled acceptance in the Garden of Gethsemane. He wrestled with submitting to the will of God and chose to surrender. He chose what God wanted over His own desires. He chose to suffer and die on a cross so that we could have access to God and eternal life. I’m so grateful that Jesus showed us how to accept acceptance.

Acceptance means lifting up open hands to a sovereign God in total and complete surrender. Acceptance is not only letting go of the past but also receiving whatever the future may hold. When it comes to grief, acceptance means loving hard but holding people loosely because they don’t belong to us. They are merely gifts given by God that He allows to grace our lives for however long He chooses. It’s by His grace that we get to see again in eternity those who die in Christ. Acceptance means thanking and honoring God for those He has and will allow us to love.

Once we’ve made peace with the fact that we cannot change the past and have no control over the future, we understand why today is called the present. We begin to experience the abundant life by walking in gratitude and taking nothing for granted. We learn how to stay in the moment and acknowledge the finite. Acceptance teaches us to celebrate the past, treasure the present, and surrender the future. Acceptance teaches us to trust God and allow Him to direct our pathway forward. Will you accept acceptance?

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”

John 12:24-25 (NIV)

“…Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2 (ESV)

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

Naked I’ll return to the womb of the earth.

God gives, God takes.

God’s name be ever blessed.”

Job 1:21 (ESV)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 (ESV)

When my mother passed away, I was surrounded by an outpouring of love and support from my friends, family, and church. It was almost overwhelming at times. I was blown away by the countless people who reached out with food, money, or an encouraging word. And then there were those that were eager to jump in, wrap their arms around me, and just hold me. Don’t get me wrong, I needed to be held. But at times, I felt like I was cheating on my mom. This may sound weird, but at times, I felt like the very people God sent to comfort me were trying to take my mom’s place. And trust me, I wasn’t going to let that happen. NO ONE could take the place of my mom. And so, at times, I found myself pushing people away. Somehow I felt like my accepting love and support from others was erasing the memory of my mom and I wanted, I needed to hold on to her as much as possible.

It's taken years for me to learn that I can embrace the love and support of others without losing sight of who my mom was and continues to be in my life. In a way, my pushing people away or distancing myself from them was a part of my still denying she was gone. I was protecting this place in my life thinking she could still occupy it here in the earth. But she couldn’t. My mom was gone but I still needed people to love and care for me in the natural. I had to accept that this would, could, and should look different moving forward.

There goes that word ”Accept.” I have a love-hate relationship with acceptance. It makes me feel like I have to concede or give up. I hate losing. I hate loss. But closed hands can’t receive. If I’m so busy holding on to what was, I’m in no position to receive all that is to come. Acceptance means loving hard, but holding people loosely because they don’t belong to us. They are merely gifts given by God that He allows to grace our lives for however long He chooses. It’s by His grace that we get to see those who die in Christ again in eternity.

Acceptance means opening up our hands in appreciation of those He has and will allow us to love. Loving without reserve affords us the opportunity to entrust our hearts to the one who makes and mends them.