Fearless Future: Face the Unknown Without Anxietyনমুনা

My phone buzzed around 4AM. I reached for it on the tray attached to my hospital bed. My newborn lay asleep in his clear bassinet at my side, but the text from my sister sounded an alarm. I woke my husband from the hospital couch. Our older son at home was having trouble breathing. A few hours later, my family had taken up residence in two separate hospitals.

I know what fear feels like.

I’m well-acquainted with anxiety too. It’s helpful to know the difference.

Since fear and anxiety feel similar in our thoughts, emotions, and physically in our bodies, here’s how I’ve come to recognize them.

For FEAR: think definite, known, present threat.

You sense (hear, see, touch, etc.) danger and your body naturally goes into stress responses (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn) to help you survive.

For ANXIETY: think unclear, unknown, future worry.

You can carry unfocused stress about potential pain, but you can have real anxiety over imaginary concerns. By anticipating ambiguous dangers you’ll feel less capable of handling the circumstances you face. As preacher Charles Spurgeon once said, "Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength."

Sitting in my hospital room six years ago, I wrestled with both. I feared for my toddler's life as he struggled to breathe; I was helpless to help him. I was anxious about how the nurses would care for him—mind you, the well-trained nurses at a pediatric hospital. And I was anxious about whether he was anxious because I wasn’t with him.

I had good reason to feel this way. These unfamiliar circumstances were scary and far from ideal.

I also had good reason NOT to feel this way. The Sovereign Creator King of the Universe God cares for me and for my family even more than I do.

I’d already read and memorized verses that told me not to be afraid. But knowing I shouldn’t fear typically does very little to help me actually kick fear or anxiety out of my life. My failures just add guilt or shame to my pain.

That wasn’t the first, or last time, these bullies messed with me. If you’re there too, with fear pressing down on your chest and anxiety’s shadows playing tricks on you from down the hall, I’ll tell you what I did. I hope it helps you too.

I named things for what they were, which helped put them in their rightful place.

• What’s happening right now is ____. And I’m fearful about it because ____.
• I’m nervous about the possibility of this in the future… oh, that’s anxiety.
• When I spiraled into doomsday worst-possible-thoughts-imaginable, I acknowledged fears that didn’t make sense. Saying them out loud helped me see how empty those worries actually were.
• I did what I could do. Which in this case meant relying on trustworthy professionals to do their jobs and on my loved ones for support and prayer.
• I brought everything, repeatedly, and threw them at the feet of Jesus.

This last part takes practice, and I discovered a secret about fear that has helped me walk in greater freedom now for years. I’m helping you with both of those next.

Please Note: Seek support from trusted professionals if you need help to break free from chronic fear or anxiety. You don’t have to go this alone. Personally, working with a good Christian counselor has helped me walk in a lot of freedom and healing.