The Psalms: A Roadmap to Resilienceনমুনা

Clinging to Control

Yesterday, we focused on God’s justice and the idea that the ability to resolve our emotions and disappointment based on the character of God instead of a change in circumstances is the key to unlocking resilience in our hearts.

Today, we are going to process the discomfort of feeling like things are completely out of control.

The wicked are stringing their bows and fitting their arrows on the bowstrings. They shoot from the shadows at those whose hearts are right. The foundations of law and order have collapsed. What can the righteous do?” Psalm 11:2-3 NLT

The foundations of law and order have collapsed. Yikes! David is painting a picture of complete chaos then posing a very logical question. What can the righteous do?

What do you do when everything is falling apart?

What’s normal is to grasp for something we can control. To spin and spin and try to gain traction or at least feel useful because we are doing something. But that doesn’t actually help us withstand or bounce back from difficulty. Really, it keeps us digging our tires deeper into the mud until we are hopelessly stuck.

Instead of telling you not to be such a control freak or telling you to just trust God more because He’s in control, let’s deconstruct some of the bad ideas about control that can keep us stuck.

Bad Idea #1: God is in control and you’re not. Therefore, every bad thing that happens to you is out of your control and what God wants to happen to you.

This is a fundamental misunderstanding of the heart of God.

God is a good Father who always wants what’s best for His kids. Jesus addresses this when He says:

“You parents—if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.” Matthew 7:9-10 NLT

God is a good Father who gives good gifts to His kids. From the beginning of creation, He’s wanted to do this whole living and cultivating the earth thing with us, as partners.

Are there risks associated with making someone your partner? Absolutely. You actually have to give some control to your partner. And they could screw it up, hurting both of you in the process.

Partnering with God is similar. He’s still in charge. All the authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Jesus. But, because of His heart and desire to partner with us, His image bearers, He has given us free will, the gift of choice. Because He wants to do it with you, and because love without choice isn’t love at all.

The painful events we experience can have multiple sources (like the harmful choices we make, the harmful choices of others, the harmful intentions of the enemy, and living in a world harmed by sin), but no matter the source, our response can be the same. We partner with our good God to navigate the situation and come out on the other side. Because He’s powerful enough to use even the worst situations for good and He’s loving enough to want to.

Bad Idea #2: Being in control is how you ensure you’re safe in the world.

With all gentleness and respect, control and safety are not the same thing.

This idea is usually birthed out of terrible, painful experiences. And if you were hurt or manipulated by someone who used their superior power to control your life or harm you, there’s nothing about that that’s okay. God’s anger is white hot in situations where people use their power to oppress the vulnerable. That’s actually the hope of this psalm.

I trust in the Lord for protection. So why do you say to me, “Fly like a bird to the mountains for safety! ... But the Lord is in his holy Temple; the Lord still rules from heaven. He watches everyone closely, examining every person on earth. The Lord examines both the righteous and the wicked. He hates those who love violence. He will rain down blazing coals and burning sulfur on the wicked, punishing them with scorching winds. For the righteous Lord loves justice. The virtuous will see his face. Psalm 11:1, 4-7 NLT

The hope that David clings to is not his ability to protect himself. It is that the Lord sees him, sees others, and can be trusted to use His power rightly.

Resilience isn’t built on a foundation of bitterness or blame, nor is it built with the scaffolding of self-protection. Resilience is built on the character of God. It comes from digging into the truth that He sees you, loves you, and chose you to be His partner, and that He can be trusted to use His power for good deep into your heart.

It may be hard to stop blaming God for all the negative circumstances in your life, and it will be even harder to learn to trust Him more than you trust yourself, but it will change everything about how you see your life. So today, commit to fight the good fight of trusting God more than you did the day before.