Slay the Sexy Dragonনমুনা

The Dragon in the Red Dress

A few months ago I received a question via Instagram that caught my attention: “How do I avoid lust?” I empathized with the vulnerability of the one who sent in the submission: “Lust isn’t something you avoid. That’s like trying to hide from a dragon. Nah, dude, you gotta slay that dragon, take authority & get revelation for what you want your future to look like. You gotta know the power of delayed gratification & go to God for what you need.You don’t just magically overcome lust when you get married.It goes with you. Sadly, people who believe in avoiding lust also believe marriage will cure their insatiable appetite for their sexual desires. But the dragon is still chasing them & they are still running.”

Maybe you’ve had the same thought & felt the tension of desiring to find freedom, yet find yourself stuck in a cycle of addiction. If you’re nodding your head & silently singing praises that someone FINALLY gets you, I have good news. The sexy dragon isn’t as powerful as he’d like you to believe. It's time we expose the lie that your lustful appetite originated innately within you. The enemy not only enslaves you to your sin but leads you to believe you are the cause of it. Yet, the truth is there has been an attack on the innocence of man since the beginning of time.

Back in the garden of Eden, at the inception of mankind, God walked intimately with the first man & woman & blessed their sexual desire with the gift of innocence. It was pure, wild, & spectacular in all God’s glory. Let’s have a look closer in Genesis 2:8-25:

"Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.....The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”.... So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man..... Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

It’s interesting to me God emphasized the fact that the man & woman felt no shame. I know Christianity often depicts this scene in the Bible like a PG-rated bedtime story for kids, with the leaves draped over Adam & Eve’s explicit areas. But let’s be real. They were buck naked & not the Barbie doll version of naked– the real kind! They were having sex, getting wild, chasing each other around the garden, & indulging in the erotic romance God ordained for them, neither desiring anything outside of the wonder of love found within the gift of each other. No shame. So if there’s an absence of shame what’s there in replace? God’s original design for the innocence of our sexual desire should result in a feeling of total uncensored pleasure & fulfillment in both the gratification of desire & the journey to its discovery. Yet the time between birth & establishing our sexual identity has been cursed by the seduction of satan.

"Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’ Genesis 3:1-3

Seduction is always presented with an attractive proposition that seemingly appears good– even innocent but leads to destruction.

"But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths." Genesis 3:4-7

One decision seduced by the appetite of desire led to the stolen innocence for generations to come. Adam & Eve should have used their discernment to recognize the difference between this talking snake & the promises he was making vs the promises of God. But here’s the thing about seduction– unless you're on guard & aware of the schemes of the enemy, you don’t know you’re being seduced & deceived.

The repercussions of this one decision over time has resulted in an over-sexualized culture & insatiable appetite for lust. The confusion of sexuality is at an all-time high with statistics off the charts showcasing the consequences. Here are just a few: As of May 2021 porn sites received more website traffic in the U.S. than Twitter, Instagram, Netflix, Pinterest, & LinkedIn combined. Approximately 45% of teens who consumed porn did so in part to learn about sex. 20 studies on the topic found that teen pornography consumption negatively impacts adolescents’ self-esteem & mental health. Consumption of pornography is significantly associated with increases in sexual aggression, both verbally and physically among males and females alike. (Source: FightTheNewDrug.com)

“But Esther, what about the time between puberty & getting married? How am I supposed to withhold my sexual desire for THAT LONG?” Listen, I’m no stranger to raging hormones. I’ve been a 16-year-old girl once. I’ve dabbled in the fiery flirtation of young love. But amid my arousal, one thing remained constant: the fear of the lord & a desire to please Him.

Could it be that God designed the tension of our waiting season of sexual fulfillment to propel you into the discovery of your significance? I believe when you yield your desires to God it opens the floodgates of heaven over your life to encounter true intimacy with Him & unparalleled adventure in your life. It’s the journey of discovery.

But I’ll admit, not a lot of teenagers are navigating the uncharted waters of puberty like Christopher Columbus– old school row boating it like a man on a mission to pioneer a new land. Instead, they’re shipwrecked by the culture of this world. It seems like the second you turn 13 the concept of being single ignites a kind of FOMO that threatens your social status. Teenagers aren’t in search of their destiny or calling– they're in search of a hot date or better yet, the curiosity of sexual opportunity.

So what’s the big deal? If a teenager (or the statistical majority, a 10-year-old) finds porn & discovers what sex is, what’s the harm in that? Well, beyond the unimaginable destructive path of sexual identity & decisions, not only does the individual themself suffer, but also their future relationships & people they’ve never met. Did you know 350,000 children are reported missing every year in the United States? Of that total, an estimated 100,000 are being sex trafficked. The united states is a top destination for sex trafficking & one of the largest consumers of child sex/porn. “Consumption of porn leads to addictive behavior, alters the natural reward stimuli of the brain, and affects long-term intimacy in relationships” (Sources: Fight the New Drug, The 2021 Federal Human Trafficking Report)

You might be thinking, ‘I don’t get it. What does porn have to do with sex trafficking?’ Well, as it turns out many of those images serving your self-pleasure are women/children who have been lured into & enslaved to produce sexual content. But it doesn’t end there. Not only are there victims being brutally treated in the creation of pornography, but porn is one of the leading sources creating the demand for sex trafficking.

We could never run from or avoid statistics like this, so why would we ever attempt to avoid the dragon in the red dress-- that seductive spirit of lust that seeks to devour your destiny?! There is a beautiful desire within your heart put there by God, the unashamed, totally innocent, & wildly free desire to experience sexual pleasure. THIS desire is good. But when under the influence of the sexy dragon that desire cannot be trusted.

Do you see yourself in some of these statistics? Maybe you learned about sex through porn & since then have felt bound by lust. Or maybe that wasn't your story, but you're struggling with stewarding your sexuality in a way that honors God & your future relationship. Is it ok to masturbate if you’re not looking at porn? What about doing "other" sexual things with your partner? Is that ok? Instead of answering your questions as If I’m the supreme authority on the topic, I’m going to ask you to take time to sit with God & talk to Him about the choices you’ve made up to this point. How have your desires been seduced by satan & led to sin? How has your innocence been stolen? What consequences do you have to live with as a result? Where have you compromised & traded God's promises for a counterfeit in your sexual lifestyle? Perhaps your mind is plagued with sexual thoughts. Perhaps you’ve had an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe you’ve even contracted an STD or disease in the midst of trading your desire for temporary gratification. Whatever your story, take time to talk with Jesus in His loving presence, knowing there is no shame in being completely vulnerable with Him.