Overcoming Obstacles With Godনমুনা

Obstacle #4: Your Shame

Shame is a powerful deterrent to growth. Can you think of a time when your shame stopped you from pursuing the Lord?

When I lived at the Dream Center, Pastor Tommy and Pastor Matthew had given me the responsibility of picking up their guests from the airport and driving them back. I had driven a lot of guests, but none as high-profile as Jim Bakker was at that time – the founder of the PTL Network, a pioneer of Christian television, and the one who was involved in a big scandal in the eighties and went to prison. His name and face had been on every news outlet and tabloid in the World. Of course, because of my background on the streets, I wasn’t aware of any of that.

Jim Bakker was a man with a small frame, and at the airport, that frame was bent over with the heavy weight of shame. Like a scared little boy, he kept his head down staring at his feet, seemingly embarrassed and frightened for anyone to see him. Wearing a hat, he hoped no one would recognize him as we walked through the terminal. Unfortunately, people around did recognize him. They were gawking, pointing, and asking, “Hey, is that Jim Bakker? That looks like Jim Bakker.” That made me start to think, “Who is this guy?”

“God can still use broken dreams with broken people.” – Evangelist Jim Bakker

Mr. Jim spoke to the ex-gangsters at the Dream Center. He had on a hat and was stumbling over his words. Finally, he said, “I just got to ask the crowd a question. How many people have been in prison?” It looked to me like about 80 percent of the room stood up. And Mr. Jim said, “This is my kind of place. I feel like I’m home. I’m one of you.” And the room erupted in cheers. At that moment, this man who was scared he would be spat upon and cursed out went from being shy and not looking up to being a bold and fiery preacher. Something just came over him as if a switch had been turned on. He began to preach a message I will never forget called “God Can Still Use Broken Dreams with Broken People.”

“He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret because of those who prosper in their way, because of those who make wicked schemes. Let go of anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret—it surely leads to evil deeds.” – Psalm 37:6-8, MEV

I asked him how he ended up getting a forty-five-year sentence. Mr. Jim said it all came down to various people who planned his destruction. He also told me a large federal agency had framed him by getting videos of his programs and editing them to make him say things he never said, which was one of the reasons he ended up getting accused and sentenced. Attorney Alan Dershowitz took on his appeals case and argued that the previous judge was prejudiced against him. As a result, Jim’s forty-five-year sentence was overturned, and he was released on parole after serving nearly five years. Jim said that in a later civil trial, he provided evidence of the videos the federal agency had altered and played them back unedited and in context. That time, he said, the jury ruled in his favor. The news did not report that as they did in the first trial.

Mr. Jim explained, “The damage was already done. I lost my family, the ministry was stolen, my friends walked away, and my reputation was ruined in front of the world. I lost it all. But I never lost hope in Jesus. He never left me and never forsook me. I grew closer to Him, and the reason I am still here is because I learned to forgive myself and forgave all the people who hurt me and my family from my heart.” Then, Mr. Jim added, “Never give up, Mondo. Never give up on God. He never gives up on you. Stay humble. I had to learn the hard way. You don’t if you just walk in humility.”