Unoffendableনমুনা

“MARGIN FOR ERROR”

It’s one thing to be offended by a harsh remark made by someone you love. But the biggest offenses some of us will have in our lives will actually come from two surprising places: 

What people never say to you and what you hear people say to others that you wish was said to you. 

The greatest test for your confidence is to hear somebody else being complimented on the same thing you do. It can be hard to see somebody else being adored, noticed, recognized, and rewarded for something you do a lot of and they do very little of. I call this phantom discouragement. No one actually said anything negative about you. But watching someone else being paid a compliment can feel as though it cost you something.

Saul dealt with this at the highest level when he heard women singing the praises of David in 1 Samuel 18. And The Bible tells us that Saul eyed David from that day on. 

Saul allowed the praise of David to become the demise of his own confidence. Saul let what he wanted to hear being sung about him, drive him away from who he was called to be. He was already amazing, anointed, and the most handsome man in Israel, according to 1 Samuel 9. But he was blinded to his own worth because of his jealousy of David. 

Is it feasible that there are people in your life who love you and compliment you all the time and you don’t even hear it because you are waiting to get a compliment from one specific person you will never hear it from? 

Sometimes we not only want to be encouraged, but we want to be encouraged by someone specific. Let me ask you something. What is going to change when they notice who you are and who you’ve been? What is going to change when they apologize? What is going to change when you finally get what you want? If there is a better version of yourself you envision becoming once you receive affirmation, then my next question for you is this: Why wait? 

Why not just forgive them now and let it go? Why would you want to live your life with a backpack full of offenses when you could be putting energy toward who you would be if you weren’t offended?