The Power of a Praying Bonus Momনমুনা

Day 2: Praying for Your Bonus Kids

Understanding the Challenge:

If you have questioned your role as a bonus mom, felt unsure about how hands-on you should be with your bonus kid/s, or have been told by their bio mom that the kids are not your responsibility, know that you were put in the life of your bonus (and bio) babies for a reason and you have plenty of love to give them.

As you navigate your bonus motherhood journey, consider the challenges your bonus children may face. Your bonus children may feel caught in the middle of a challenging co-parenting dynamic. They may be processing and adapting to the complexities of a blended family of 1) emotional stress, 2) parental loyalty, and 3) adjustment difficulties.

Let’s unpack each of these areas:

1) Depending on the ages of the children, they may experience a range of emotions, including confusion, sadness, anger, or guilt, as they navigate the complexities of divided loyalties and conflicting emotions towards both parents (and you as their bonus mom).

2) Your bonus kids may struggle with aspects of allegiance and parental loyalty as they learn they can love both parents and as, at their own pace, they make room in their hearts to love you as well. They may feel torn between wanting to maintain positive relationships with each parent while also feeling pressured to take sides or to prioritize one parent's needs over the other.

3) Adapting to the changes brought about by divorce and co-parenting can be challenging for children. They may struggle with changes in living arrangements, schedules, and family dynamics. This leads to feelings of insecurity and instability.

This is why you must respond in prayer.

Let’s Pray:

Lord, I lift up my bonus kids to you, knowing the difficulties they face in navigating the complexities of co-parenting. Protect their hearts and minds from any harm or confusion. Help them to feel secure in your love and guide them through any challenges they face. May our home be a place of love, understanding, and acceptance. Help me to be a source of support and encouragement as they navigate the complexities of a blended family. Give them strength, resilience, and peace as they navigate their feelings and relationships with each parent. May they always know they are loved and valued by you and by all of us. Amen.

Your Action Step:

Exchange Day Routine: My husband’s counselor, who has a merged family, shared with us that transition days, for some children, are like going from going from one country to another. Additionally, there is a 72-hour window where the kids are acclimating to the norms of your household, which may be drastically different from the other household. What is a relaxing and enjoyable activity your family can do together on exchange days?

See you on Day Three.