She Decidedনমুনা

Another thing that I have learned is that God does not want to renew, but He wants to MAKE US NEW! Renewal is a process of reinstating something, but before He can reinstate anything in your life He must first be able to make your heart new, your spirit new, your mind new, or you will be entering your next season with baggage and trauma from the past; and there is nothing new about past traumas and pain. He wants to take them and transform them into peace, trust and joy. He wants to use all of your trials and turn them into testimonies. He wants to renew your mind by the transformation of your heart by making you new in Christ Jesus.

If you fully relinquish yourself and step into the season of acceptance of whatever it is that you are going through, then He will be able to fully create beauty from ashes. We just have to choose to stay in His PRESENCE.

But, what if you have failed? Well, welcome to my world. My marriage failed. My health has failed, but I keep choosing Him.

A couple years back I remember sitting in my car and not having the gumption to walk into my house because the moment I stepped out of my car I had to face the reality that my reality was no longer the same.

I remember my daughter getting me off the floor and tucking me into my bed because I could not catch my breath from anxiety. I had to get a hold of myself and understand that I had to stop reflecting on the past because God was resurrecting something new in my spirit for my future.

I had to stop holding onto the old because He wanted me to start making room for the new.

I had to get uncomfortable so He could stretch me, refine me, and mold me into all He called me to be.

I had to cry myself to nausea so He could empty it all out of me for restoration; because He WANTS TO sit with you in your suffering.

I had to learn that everything that God had for me Had not yet been manifested, so I had to let go and lean in so I could hear what was coming!

I had to TRUST His provision for my life and understand that even though it looks like He has forsaken me that He has just been altering me, and refining me for my future.

We do not have to get it right all the time, we don’t have to be perfect, we don’t have to have it all together, we don’t have to parent with perfectionism, we just have to pursue righteousness.

The definition of pursuit is “the activity or action pursuing something” - the definition doesn’t say the “arrival, or the destination” it says the pursuit. So He loves us even in our pursuit! How incredible is that.

We don’t have to hide our pain, He wants to sit with us in our pain. We don’t have to hide our emotion, He wants to be with us in our emotions. He doesn’t want us suffering alone, He wants to carry our suffering.

We don’t have to pretend like we are okay in our season of loneliness, uncertainty, or self doubt, God wants to be our healer, partner and make our messes into meaningful testimonies.

Our bucket doesn’t have to be overflowing with joy all of the time for people to see that He lives in us- we just have to remember we are the love bucket He freely wants to pour into; all we need is to say Yes Jesus and Choose to stay in his presence just like Ruth did.