Through the Fog: 6 Days of God's Goodness Amidst Physical Suffering, Chronic Pain, and Chronic Illnessনমুনা

HEALING TRUTH

God’s beauty splashes color back into our fog.

DEVOTIONAL

Her warm breath moistened my hand, her whiskers tickling my palm. I didn’t have any food to give as her searching lips roved about my hand. Instead, I scratched her furry forehead, watching her eyes close halfway, satisfied with my alternative greeting to an apple. I grabbed the brush and moved her mane aside, letting the rhythmic stroking seep down into my soul. As dust filled the afternoon breeze, my stress seemed to release with it. The dirt of soul and body mingled in the air around us. Before I knew it, a part of my heart was healed.

Even in the darkest times of my life, when the fog closed in like walls around me if I could find glimpses of these things that stirred my soul (namely if I could touch a horse or watch a sunset), a sweet balm covered the pain of my body and mind. That’s why for many years I have called horses and sunsets my hugs from God.

God left little smatterings of His beauty throughout the world so that we could follow them like a scavenger hunt for His goodness. These little moments of seeing, touching, or hearing something beautiful do not bring us down to a less spiritual existence. Rather, these little experiences of God’s beauty- nuggets are what help us to become fully human, fully experiencing with our senses the beauty of this world.

The moments where you feel the peace that surpasses understanding, when you find a sudden revelation of God’s character through your child, when you are brought to tears by the melody of a song, when you relish in the luxury of a soft blanket or an exquisitely-brewed cup of coffee – these are the moments God is extending His arms, wrapping you in a sweet hug of His presence, and delighting in you delighting in His creation.

It can seem rather trite to talk about horses and sunsets in the midst of circumstances that are so dire it seems death is crouching on your front door. But, God's hugs are actually vital to dispelling the fog that surrounds us in the thick of physical suffering. Beauty is the gift that can bring color back into our gray existence; it is the starting block that propels us forward out of our grief and into fellowship with God.

When we’re deep in the darkness of our fog, the truth is that our deepest desire is not an explanation of why the fog has surrounded us. What we really need is for the God of the universe to give us a hug, hold us until our sobs even out to deep breaths, and let us bury our faces in the comfort of an embrace that is stronger than we are. That’s what beauty does. It holds us in its embrace, calming our mind and soul without explanation of mystery, but with an embrace of trust. Beauty holds us until our sniffles subside, and then it turns us around to watch as it splashes color back into all the gray our fog has created.

PRAYER

God, I admit that sometimes beauty doesn’t seem like an anchor for my soul in the midst of world-shattering news. Sometimes beauty doesn’t seem like the best argument for your goodness when I want an explanation for the suffering that has come my way. But Holy Spirit, I ask you to help me see you in the ways that you want to reveal yourself to me, including the small moments of my day that might seem insignificant to others or in the way you highlight your creation to me. I surrender my need for control and explanation, and instead embrace you and your mystery. Help me rest in your hugs instead of striving for explanations. Show me your beauty, God. In Jesus’ name, Amen.