Culture Maker — the Devotional for Dad'sনমুনা

Meet Shame

The rooster crows, and Peter was broken.

Jesus told Peter that he'd deny Him three times before the rooster crowed — Peter couldn't believe it.

When it happened, he wept bitterly.

Jesus was well aware Peter's failure would fill him with shame, and cause him to withdraw. Even after His death, Jesus made sure Peter was still included.

We all feel shame. We think that it somehow disappears when we become a Christ-follower. But we feel shame when we fail, or make a mistake, or let people down.

But probably the most pervasive form of shame is the shame that is carried forth in the words of those closest to us.

"Cry-baby!", "Grow up!", "Toughen-up!", "You're hopeless!", "Why can't you be more like so-and-so?".

I distinctly remember the day I told one of my daughters that she needed to be more like her sister. She hadn't done her jobs for the week and I told her "You need to be more like your sister, she was way more helpful than you at this age!"

Shame can live in our words, our tone, or just a look.

Mums and dads intentionally shame their children, hoping to get change, thinking it's good parenting, but all it does is make children think less of themselves. It makes them feel worthless.

Shame also makes us withdraw — typically from those closest to us. I suspect that's why Jesus made sure Peter was included.

Jesus had big plans for Peter — upon this rock, (despite Peter's failure), He would build his church. When we, like Jesus, do what we must, to make things right with our kids — then like Peter, our children are more free, to follow their purpose.

How does the way you're leading at home, cause shame to your kids? Take that to prayer and ask for His help.