Greater Joy TWOgetherনমুনা

Little Foxes

Just as small, positive interactions can have big rewards in marriage, small negative habits can lead you and your spouse to drift apart.

King Solomon described marriage as a vineyard. With care, hard work, sun, rain, and time, a vineyard produces grapes. But foxes can sneak into the vineyard, nip the buds off the vines, and prevent the blooms that produce grapes. A few foxes can destroy an entire vineyard.

Caring for a marriage, like caring for a vineyard, requires us to chase off what is destructive. A fox is anything you allow into your marriage that could destroy your joy together.

It is often the little foxes that do the most damage. Big problems do bring down marriages, but it’s the little problems we ignore that nip away at our joy.

When your marriage drifts, you’ll find yourself blaming your spouse. When you blame your spouse as the source of all your problems, you automatically set your spouse up to be the solution.

Blame left unchecked turns to anger and a closed heart. Not to be confused with boundaries or a guarded heart, a closed heart is unwilling to let others in. Bitterness, resentment, and unresolved anger keep a heart on lockdown.

Anger can be buried, but it’s always buried alive.

Forgiveness is the decision to let your spouse off the hook. Just as your spouse is not your source of life, your spouse is not your source of forgiveness. Jesus is your source of forgiveness. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

A closed heart leads you to believe no one understands your experience. That is not true. There are plenty of people in your life who have walked through difficult seasons. Lean into them. “Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom in the future” (Proverbs 19:20).

A marriage in motion stays in motion. A marriage in drift stays in drift. Chase the foxes away.

Lord, we don’t want to drift in our relationship with each other or with you. Give us a renewed passion for your Word, time with you in prayer, and gathering with believers. When we drift, we ask the Holy Spirit to call us by name and get us back on track. We thank you for the opportunity to be in right relationship with you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.