Tension & Truthনমুনা

TENSIONS - WHAT DOESN'T HELP

As a counsellor and trainer, I hear the variety of approaches that people take when trying to manage the tensions of life. So, let me first speak about what doesn’t work and unpack the three core mistakes that most make.

1. Trying to eliminate the tension:

This is driven by the need to be in control. If I can work harder and perform at my maximum, I may be able to eliminate the potential for further complexities. Control gives us a distorted perception of believing we are “like god.” This idea began in Genesis 3 where the Devil lured us with a lie that we could become like god by inheriting the knowledge of good and evil. (Small ‘g’ intended.) The problem is reality always catches up somewhere, exposing the truth that we are not god and life always plays out better when we let go of our own understanding and instead surrender to God.

2. Trying to numb the tension:

This is driven by escaping behaviours, which range from things like Netflix, alcohol or even Botox. Using any activity as an anxiety-easing drug works for the short term; long-term, however, is the problem. No amount of Botox can ever fully defuse the ageing process. Added to that, whatever you escape to, you will become enslaved. 1 Corinthians 6:12 warns us not to become mastered by anything.

3. Turning tension into truth.

The biggest mistake people make is when we lose sight of truth and allow the tensions to become our truth. It happens so easily, especially when life feels like a never-ending struggle. It is easy to slip into apathy and despair when tensions are relentless. As humans, we have, on average 70, 000 thoughts a day. Of those thoughts, 85% are negative, and 98% are repetitive. This is why Philippians 4:8 instructs us to fix our thoughts on what is true. We must intentionally hold onto the truth as our bigger picture.

Tomorrow we will dig into how we manage this space constructively with the truth. The first step to overcoming anything is identifying what is not working. As Craig Groeschel once said, “You can’t defeat what you haven’t defined.” Use the reflection questions below to help you process how you manage your life's tensions.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS:

1. When you are triggered and feeling overwhelmed, do you…

• Tend to look for a way to avoid facing things?
• Tend to push in hard to regain control?
• Tend to look for emotionally soothing activities?

2. Consider how short-term versus long-term the positives and negatives of this approach.

3. Do you generally dwell in the negative or find a silver lining to life’s dilemmas?

4. When feeling negative emotions, do you….

• Tend to avoid facing them and sweep them under the carpet?
• Tend to distract yourself to numb the emotions?
• Curl up in a ball under the covers and not come out.

5. Consider how short-term versus long-term the positives and negatives of this approach.

6. What is your opinion about life, God, self, and others?

7. How have life's trials, traumas, troubles, and tensions impacted these opinions?

PRAY:

Lord, I lift up every tension I am wrestling with right now. Lord, I pray for your wisdom as I walk this journey that you would be a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.