Let’s Talk About Singleness

I still desire to be married, but marriage used to be where I put my hope. I had thought things like: “Just survive singleness until marriage, then... it will be like heaven.” “If I don't get married, is life even worth living?”

But my hopes were built on a faulty foundation, and when an engagement ended in my twenties, all my hopes were shattered. Since then, I wanted to find the hope that would never disappoint (Romans 5:5). I realized that this hope lay in knowing God's love for me.

“For You have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.” (Psalm 71:5 NIV)

“But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise You more and more.” (Psalm 71:14 NIV)

“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.” (Psalm 147:11 NIV)

Many Christians have wrestled with these tough questions. I am so thankful that we can go to God with our hardest questions!

• “What do I do with my sexual desires if I’m not having sex?”
• “How can God expect me to not have sexual expression, for so long, or ever?”
• “Is it possible to lull back to rest what was awakened? Once I have experienced sex, found it to be enjoyable (as it was designed to be), and then given it up to be obedient to God, how can I now live without it? Is it possible to quiet this part of myself—for my sexual desire to be at rest?”
• “The Bible says 'it’s better to marry than to burn with lust' (1 Cor. 7:9). I’m ready to get married but there’s no one for me yet! What is God’s answer for me?”
• “What do I do during times of loneliness and sexual desire?”
• "Is it possible to heal and be made whole in the area of my sexuality and to walk in a way that is honoring to others, myself, and to God?"

I want to steward this time of singleness well! I want to make the most of this time to discover and accomplish all that God has for me. I want to live a fruitful life.

• Singleness is a good time for pursuing healthiness.
• Singleness is a good time to discover the unique dreams, passions, and giftings God has placed in me.
• Singleness is a good time to focus on what is good in my life and practice joy, thankfulness, and contentment.
• Singleness is a good time to discover the mystery that in Jesus I find all that I need.
• Singleness is a good time to take inventory of the unmet needs I feel and to learn how they can be met in healthy ways as a single.
• Singleness is a good time to work through issues of self-esteem, get to know myself, and see myself the way God sees me.
• If I have sexual baggage, singleness is a great time to work through that.
• If I have out-of-control sexual desires, singleness is a great time to work through those.
• Singleness is a good time to lay down my expectations and plans of how I thought my love life would look.

Talk with Jesus

• If you’re single, what do you love about singleness? What do you find difficult about singleness?
• What do you feel that you lack as a single (unmet needs)? Ask Jesus to show you how He meets these needs. (It may look different than you expect but He knows exactly what we need even more than we know ourselves!)

Prayer: Jesus, I don't want to miss out on anything you have for me. Help me to live with joy, thankfulness, and contentment. I entrust You with my life and with all my needs and desires. Show me how You have not left me in lack but are fully able to meet all of my needs. Show me what this means.

God, You fulfill the desires of those who fear You. (Psalm 145:19)

I trust You with the desires in my heart.

I do not put my trust nor my hope in a person to fulfill me. (Psalm 146:3)

But my hope is in You, Lord my God. (Psalm 146:5)

You, who are faithful forever. (Psalm 146:6)

And You sustain the singles. (Psalm 146:9)