Marriage And Disabilityনমুনা

God’s Design for Love

Young people’s ideas about love and marriage are influenced by their parents and their culture, including its fairy tales about Prince Charming and a happily-ever-after life. We all dream of having an attractive spouse, a great job, and a couple of kids. We fantasize about what marriage will add to our lives—love, companionship, security, and even sex. But the fairy tales don’t even hint at what marriage will require of us. Once the honeymoon is over, most couples discover that marriage is hard work. This can be further complicated for couples living with disabilities, who may face pain, physical limitations, and exhaustion.

Unfortunately, when we’re distressed, our spouses can be an easy target. Misunderstandings, score-keeping, feelings of entitlement, and other perils can take a toll on even the most loving couple. However, by God’s grace, a disability can also bring out the best in a couple.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, God addresses the struggles we encounter in marriage. To the wife of a husband with a disability who feels overlooked or taken for granted, God says, “Love is patient and kind.” To the husband with a disability who lashes out or feels misunderstood or emasculated, God says, “Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way.” To the spouses keeping an account of transgressions, God says, “[Love] is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” To those ready to throw in the towel, God says, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. . . . love will last forever!”

While embracing God’s design for love is crucial for a healthy marriage, it’s also difficult. Fortunately, God isn’t asking us to attend a marriage seminar or read another book on marriage, although these can be helpful. He asks us to lean into his strength and power. Galatians 2:20 tells us, “My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” Christ living in us gives us the ability to be victorious over our own self-centeredness and the struggles that impact our marriages. When we trade our human desire for Christ’s nature, we are able to focus on how we can better love and serve our mates.