Loving & Respecting Your Partner

Matthew 22:35-40

“One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’”

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

Love is a core theme throughout scripture–it’s the greatest commandment: to love the Lord and love everyone else. Of course, there are different types of love. You love your friends a little differently than you love your parents, which is different from falling in love with someone you want to marry and spend your life with.

When Jesus talks about loving people, He means it in a platonic yet meaningful way. We understand what love is by reading 1 Corinthians. It’s patient and kind. It doesn’t dishonor others, and it isn’t selfish. It doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices in the truth.

So, whether you’re going out on your first date with someone or your 50th date, you’re called to love that person. And loving that person means putting them above your own desires. It means honoring them and helping them abstain from sin as much as it has to do with you.

When you save yourself for marriage–when you don’t have sex with someone you’re dating–you’re not just glorifying God; you’re honoring and loving that person. Now, they might not see it that way, especially if their intentions are to casually date or hook up, and they’re not interested in saving themselves for marriage. But you are, and it’s one of the kindest, most respectful things you can do in a dating relationship.

Here are some tips for communicating the fact that you’re waiting:

• Be specific about why you’re waiting–this gives your date context and insight into your core values and beliefs.
• Don’t pass judgment on someone who doesn’t understand or has a different opinion on sex–telling someone you’re waiting till marriage for sex is less about trying to get them to agree or understand and more about communicating your boundaries.
• Share your desire to wait before you’re in the middle of a sexual encounter–communicating your physical boundaries before you get physical helps set realistic expectations and avoids your date feeling rejected or embarrassed.
• Be open to it not working out–once you share your boundaries, your date has the right to respond however they want, which may include not continuing with the relationship.

Remember that you’re doing the right thing by waiting for sex, even if someone else isn’t interested in waiting with you. The right person will be.