Love at First Sex? Finding Purity in a Sex-Crazed Worldনমুনা

Treasure of His Heart (bad fruit)

Jesus loves us and wants to give us true freedom. My boyfriend said he loved me, but only used me for his own pleasure. If it was for my good, why did I feel stuck? Why did I feel lonelier than ever? I was searching for love and acceptance and thought I had found it at first. Our first sexual experience was difficult to say yes to. Each time after that, it was easier and easier to say yes. At first, it was few and far between, and by the end of our three and half year relationship, we were having sex every day. I will tell you right now, it would have been infinitely easier for me to keep saying no the first time, than to say no the very last time. Don’t start down a path that you can’t turn back from.

Somewhere early in our relationship, I stopped going to church and stopped reading the Bible. It wasn’t a decision I made consciously, but little by little, this relationship started to replace my relationship with God. I was feeling more convicted at church and eventually stopped going. I was spending all my time with this guy and left little to no time for reading scripture and praying.

The church was telling me that premarital sex was a sin and broke God’s command to not commit adultery. (Exodus 20:14) I began trying to justify my actions in my heart. I started believing the devil’s lie that premarital sex is not breaking this command. It’s easy to twist God’s word for your own liking if you’re not careful. Adultery is clearly sexual relations outside of marriage. But guess what? I wasn’t married!! I was cheating on my future husband. Even if I had ended up marrying him one day, what we were doing was outside the bonds of marriage. Paul drives it home in 1 Corinthians 6:9 that fornicators (sexually immoral) will not inherit the kingdom of God!

I was becoming known by my “bad fruit” that Jesus talks about in Luke 6:43. “For each tree is known by its own fruit.” I had one or two close friends that knew what I was doing. I thought no one else knew, but that was not the case. People knew me by my bad fruit and the skimpy way I dressed. This wasn’t something I was proud of. I was ready for a real change.

Jesus says, “the good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.” I went from being a new Christian, excited to tell others about Jesus and what He did for us on the cross, to a sexually immoral girl flaunting my flesh and my sin. I had started filling my heart with evil treasure, and it was apparent to everyone around me, but me.

Jesus is imploring us, “Why do you call Me ’Lord, Lord’ and do not do what I say?” (Luke 6:46) Everyone who hears His words and lives by them is like the builder that built on the rock. They will not be shaken! If I had lived by these scriptures, I could have avoided incredible heartache. What does Jesus say about the one who has not acted accordingly and built on the sand? “Immediately it collapsed, and the ruin of that house was great.” The ruin of my house indeed would have been very great if it were not for Jesus pulling me up out of the pit I had dug for myself. He’s the only one that could have saved me at this point.

Hear me. If you’re in a relationship, is your relationship built on the Rock or on the sand? If physical touch were taken away from your relationship, would there be anything left? If the answer is no, then you have built on the sand. Are you hearing Jesus’ words and then living by them? Are you seeking God’s direction for your relationship together in prayer? If so, you’re building on the Rock! Is your main focus on things of the spirit or of the flesh? Are you committed to following Christ or your own desires? Where does your treasure lie? Be completely honest with yourself. Then pray over each of these things.