Reframe Your Shame: 7-Day Prayer Guideনমুনা

Reframe Your Story

After reluctantly agreeing to go to rehab, I had to fly back to Maryland to pack and say my goodbyes before leaving the next day. The intake specialist said I had forty-eight hours from the time we spoke to check in. I felt rushed and pushed in the moment, but I now understand the need to get someone into treatment as quickly as possible before they have an opportunity to change their mind.

The mere thought of saying goodbye to my family was turning my stomach upside down. Shame overwhelmed me. I still went to church that Sunday, shame written all over my face as I wept during praise and worship alongside my children. Jimmy stood next to me, with slight tears in his eyes from deep anger and pain. I remember the worship leader singing a song that encouraged me when I couldn’t and didn’t know how to pray. A war was going on in the spirit realm for my soul, and God was giving me supernatural confidence to trust that He would not allow death or addiction or trauma or fear or shame to win my soul. I belong to God. You do too. We are made in His image. He loves us. And friend, He holds you now, helping you all the way through. He is trustworthy and true.

Through the power of a story, the fragmented pieces of my life began to click into place. All those years, it felt like I was looking at things through the bottom of a glass. My perception of reality was distorted the way the bottom of a glass distorts our vision so that I couldn’t see what was right in front of me clearly. I couldn’t see the love of the people closest to me—my husband, children, friends, and family, and the God who loves me despite my craziness and brokenness. That’s when I began to break free from the clutches of denial, slowly beginning to understand that I am loved and wanted, cared for and accepted.

The light bulb went on for me in a moment when the group was asked if perhaps their view of life was distorted because of looking at it through the bottom of a glass. When we look through the bottom of a glass, we can’t see what is right in front of us. It is distorted. Our loved ones are right in front of us, but we haven’t seen them. God has been with us all along the way, through ups and downs, bad choices, and consequences, and yet we still couldn’t see Him in it all.

I began to consider that there wasn’t a problem with life itself. There wasn’t a problem with God or with my family loving me. Life was good enough, but I was looking at it all wrong. I was looking at my life through the bottom of a wine glass, which was distorting my vision and perspective. I couldn’t see clearly what was right in front of me—my family who loved me. My loved ones could see me, but I could not see them because my vision was blurry. I couldn’t see the God who loved me or the husband who believed in me and wanted the best for my life. I couldn’t see forgiveness from God and those I had hurt, which was mine to be had if I asked for it. Because of my distorted filter, I couldn’t see all the beauty and purpose life had to offer me. I was blind, but suddenly I could see in that moment. The group leader asked this question: “Can you now look at life as it really is?” My palms began to sweat, and I became fidgety in my seat as the burning desire to raise my hand was forcing me to do just that. I felt that if I didn’t raise my hand, I might explode on the inside.

Don’t think. Just do it. Just admit it, Irene! Conquer the fear to admit it! This is your choice, I said to myself. No one is forcing you, and you know too much now about how you got here. Just admit it! I slowly raised my hand and made my first public admission of my alcoholism. “My name is Irene, and I believe I am an alcoholic.” Boom! There! I said it!

In that one moment on day 38 of rehab, my miracle happened. Clarity came to me in an instant. The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:12, “We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long until the weather clears, and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us” (MSG). God’s grace came into that moment and gave me the strength to face the days to come when I would be confronted repeatedly with the shame of the mess I had created of my life. My life after fear began on day 38.

Don’t be ashamed of your story; it may inspire others! God is the author and the finisher of our faith and our stories, and He is not done writing yours. Will you let Him redeem and rewrite your story? All He needs is your willingness to be brave and share as He leads you.

Prayer Guide

• Thank our Lord that He can redeem the story of our lives.

• Ask Him to show you how to change the trajectory of your story.

• Call upon God to give you strength to make the necessary changes.

• Ask Jesus for boldness and opportunity to share your story.

Prayer for You

Merciful Jesus, thank You that You are the Great Storyteller. Thank You that my story is not over. Please take my story and craft it for Your good. Use my life, with all its poor choices and mistakes, to help others get it right. Help others see Your story of forgiveness and redemption through the things I have experienced and my relationship with You. I want others to know You as their Lord and Savior. Use me for that purpose. I love You! Amen!