No Turning Backনমুনা

Is this all there is? I just thought I’d feel different. Will things ever change?

Thoughts raced through my mind. Thursday morning approached, and I wondered what reason I could give my pastor for canceling our weekly discipleship meeting . . . again. Pastor Sam and I had been meeting for months, and I couldn’t bring myself to admit that I wasn’t getting anywhere. I felt discouraged . . . defeated . . . doubtful.

And it definitely wasn’t my pastor’s fault. He poured into me in ways no man had ever done. He loved me like a father would a child. A devoted follower of Jesus, my pastor was humble and approachable. So how did I get to a place of wanting to avoid him, of wondering if I’d ever get beyond my struggles with sin, ever become the man I knew God wanted me to be?

I was a man divided. Friends may have described me as a person of great integrity with humility, compassion, a strong character, and a radiant smile, but my family might have used words like egotistical, driven, distant, and self-obsessed. I might have been perceived as a man of self-discipline, but deep down I knew something wasn’t right.

I thank God that Jesus didn’t leave me in that place. The turn began at a worship service my wife, Denisse, and I attended. I had a powerful encounter with God the Holy Spirit that night. I finally had eyes to see my desperate need for the bright-burning flame of God’s love. The gospel message of Jesus resounded in my soul like never before. That night it started to become clear that arrival wasn’t the ultimate goal. Jesus was inviting me to journey with Him. I was to walk this life at Jesus’ side. I was to be a pilgrim. A sojourner.

The Bible says we are travelers. Every day, we’re on a journey with Jesus. Life with Christ is a walk, a pilgrimage. Here’s what I began to discover: my discipleship meetings didn’t create doubts; they just uncovered the pride, fear, and insecurity in me. Will I ever change? What’s wrong with me?

This week’s pilgrimage is all about hope in the midst of the “getting there.” It’s about getting past your past so you can hold on to hope for the journey. It’s also about moving to a closer connection with Jesus. Let’s go, my friend. No turning back.

Tell Jesus you want to journey with Him. Place your hand in His and take the first step forward.