A More Beautiful Lifeনমুনা

Goals Gone Wrong

Sitting at my desk headed toward business bankruptcy, weary, discouraged, and facing a string of problems I didn’t know how to manage, the one thing I knew for sure was that I wanted a different life. It didn’t even matter what kind of life—as long as it wasn’t this one.

What was I doing wrong? How had I arrived here? How could I be failing so epically?

As I reflected, I pulled out my goal notebook—a binder I’ve kept since college—and reviewed my past goals. There were career, personal, and family goals.

These were all good things—things I believed I could do. So how did the list of dreams before me—things that made me feel excited and energized and creative and in love—add up to a life I loathed?

Somewhere along the line, I picked up the belief that if I achieve as much as possible, I’ll be happy. As women, we daily take on this challenge with impossible expectations of ourselves, and because we’re incredible, we crush them.

We dash from responsibility to responsibility, hoping to reach the finish line before we collapse. We are capable of doing it all. But in the frenzy, we forget to ask ourselves: How are we doing? Like, really doing?

You don’t want to feel like an empty shell at the end of the day because your goal drained your soul. I promise you don’t have to give up your dreams—or your idealism—about all you can accomplish in life or how amazing you hope it will be. I want to help you achieve those goals without selling your soul.

This is where HEART can help us. Born out of the need for a flexible, forgiving system, and developed through a chaotic season, HEART is a checklist of essentials rather than a goal-setting system. HEART has evolved into a life management system for weekly and monthly planning, as well as daily self–check-ins involving five life segments: Help Yourself, Empower Yourself, All Your People, Resources and Responsibilities, and Trade and Talent.

It’s not about thinking small. Quite the opposite. It’s about thinking bigger than ever before. We do this by using visions rather than goals.

In his book, Visioneering, Andy Stanley describes vision as something “born in the soul of a man or woman who is consumed with the tension between what is and what could be.” Visions don’t come to those distracted by daydreams, nor do they come to those racing through reality. It takes a willingness to slow down and reflect—recognizing what is and what could be—to have a vision.

Stanley tells the story of Nehemiah and his vision from the Scriptures. Nehemiah was a Jew living abroad, serving as a high servant to the king. The city of Jerusalem was in ruins, and the people had drifted away from their beliefs, customs, and laws. Nehemiah didn’t justify the situation or ignore it by busying himself with tasks. Instead, he recognized it for what it was: the relaxed practices had weakened the people, and the physical ruin had left the city vulnerable and exposed.

Then Nehemiah anticipated what should have been: those walls and gates should have been strong, solid, and high—a physical form of protection, as well as a symbol of strength and unity. The people should have followed their laws and customs, prospering instead of suffering. Nehemiah sought God’s help through prayer and fasting. He was given a vision for restoring Jerusalem to its previous glory.

Let’s apply this to our lives. Examine what is and determine what could be in your life; then you can begin building your visions.

I’m a Christian. My vision and my purpose come from my relationship with Jesus. My faith influences how I process my circumstances and what I believe makes life meaningful.

What are your hopes and dreams for your life now that you’ve thought about what is and what could be?

When you feel connected to a greater purpose and other people, when you have a sense of gratitude and meaning, and when you have the strength to handle stress and unforeseen circumstances, you will have the energy and stamina to build a beautiful life.

Faith and spirituality may be sensitive subjects for some. I’m not here to debate the existence of God; I’m simply here to declare that my life is less chaotic when I accept that I’m not in charge. Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. You can identify and eliminate any obstacle to living beautifully by pursuing Truth. The wonderful part about pursuing Truth is that Truth isn’t afraid of your questions. If you pursue it, you’ll find it—you’ll find Jesus.

Respond

Do you know Jesus? If yes, describe your salvation experience.

If not, would you like to know Him? List some people in your circle of friends and family who can share Jesus with you. If you don’t know anyone, ask Jesus to place someone in your path. He will; He loves you that much!

Prayer

Lord Jesus, I give control of my days to You. Please show me how to live a beautiful life in You.