When Shame Gets Realনমুনা

Gone Fishing

One of the unfortunate realities of human existence is that we all will fail at times. Occasionally our failures may be minor bumps in the road, easily shrugged off and forgotten. But then there will be those failures so colossal, so catastrophic that the prospect of redemption seems incomprehensible.

Among the hundred different “sins” that can derail our life and destroy relationships, nothing is more personal and painful than an act of betrayal. Almost everyone knows what betrayal is like, and it’s never fun. Whether it be a friend, employee, business partner, leader, or spouse, the feeling of that cold knife in your back is unforgettable.

Betrayal is painful. No one likes a “Judas."

One of the unique aspects of betrayal is that both parties understand the severity of the act and the pain it causes. This is why often, in relationships where betrayal exists, the path to reconciliation is especially difficult. The betrayed has to wrestle with the deep and lasting wounds of the act, but the betrayer has to be willing to own the gravity of their decision, and be humble and trusting enough to accept the forgiveness they seek to receive.

We’ve all been there, and as painful as those moments are, no one knows the sting of betrayal quite like Jesus.

Jesus had the unbelievable privilege of being betrayed by two of his closest friends. Not only that, they also both betrayed him around the same time and at the moment of his greatest need. One was his treasurer, Judas Iscariot, the other one was Peter, who at one time swore he would die for Jesus if the moment ever called for it.

Understand that betrayal was nothing new to Jesus or any Jew of that day. Much like today, people betrayed each other for all sorts of reasons, usually connected to financial or political gain. But Peter’s betrayal was especially egregious.

Peter was Jesus’ talmid (what we would call a student but with a much deeper connection). For a talmid to publicly dissociate with one’s Rabbi was an unthinkable offense and a degree of betrayal far greater and more personal than most modern westerners can even conceptualize.

In other words, you just never did what Peter did. It didn't happen. And Peter knew that truth all too well.

Consequently, we read in John that after Jesus’ resurrection he finds Peter fishing. This piece of information is significant because it shows that Peter recognized his days as a talmid were over, so he returned to what he knew best... fishing.

He understood there were consequences for what he had chosen to do and accepted that fact. But then Jesus does the unthinkable. He offers forgiveness and charges Peter with the task of “feeding his sheep” and leading his church.

Given the severity of his sin against Jesus, and the shame he must have felt, you might expect Peter to refute or at least decline Jesus’ invitation. After all, how could such a fallen individual be worthy of such honor and responsibility?

But that was not the case.

Peter simply took his Rabbi at his word. Peter was willing to trust Jesus to give him a new tomorrow and renewed purpose. He believed that when his Rabbi said he was worth saving and still fit to “feed his sheep,” that it was so.

You don’t see Peter saying, “Hey man, thanks, but I don’t know—do you realize what I did?”

No, he just accepted and trusted the words of his teacher.

And that’s what you have to do if you are still carrying around the baggage of shame and regret.

You need to believe your Rabbi.

You need to trust the words of your Creator.

You need to stop worrying about forgiving yourself and just accept the superior forgiveness that’s already accessible to you. Because when you do, great things can happen.

Peter owned his mistakes and accepted the consequences. But he left the door open for a comeback and went on to lead the 1st century church.

Today’s Questions:

• Are there mistakes in your past that you sometimes feel like you can never undo or recover from?
• Do you have difficulty forgiving yourself for those things?
• Does the regret and shame of those actions ever prevent you from going after something you feel called to pursue?
• Are you willing to let those toxic feelings go, trusting that God accepts you as you are, forgives you, and wants to use you?