Grounded Wife: Simple Truths to Honor God in Your Marriageনমুনা

Back in 2017, Stephen was deployed to the Middle East for a year. I dreamed of growing closer, writing letters, and really, truly thriving during that time.

Well, fast forward to his return in 2018. Our marriage was certainly not thriving. In fact, we barely survived the deployment. It was much more challenging than we ever could’ve anticipated. But, the problem wasn’t the actual deployment. The problem was the shallow, rocky ground we found our marriage in before he even stepped foot on foreign soil.

You see, up to this point in our marriage, we’d overcome a lot, but we were walking through some past brokenness that seemed almost too much to bear. So, I did what any desperate wife trying to pick up the pieces would do. I got us into some counseling, and I dove into marriage books. I gathered as much knowledge on deployments while married as I could get my hands on. We went on dates, marriage retreats, we talked (and fought) a lot about what was going on, and did just about everything you’re supposed to do. I just knew all of those things combined were going to take us from shallow and rocky ground to a deeply rooted marriage.

We hear about this shallow, rocky ground in Matthew 13: 5-6, “Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn’t have deep roots, they died.”

Our marriage was on shallow, rocky ground because we were trying to grow it in our own strength and knowledge with all the books we could devour, date nights we could go on, and counseling sessions we could afford. And while there is nothing wrong with any of those things, if they’re not second to building a firm foundation on Jesus, you’ll find yourself planted in shallow, rocky ground and wilting fast.

It wasn’t until I started focusing on my relationship with Jesus that I saw real change. And that change happened in me before it happened in my marriage. Remember when I said in the introduction that our focus was going to be on ourselves and not our spouse? Well, nothing will ever root your marriage deep enough for the growth you’re longing for unless you are first rooted in Jesus yourself.

Do you find yourself trying to do all the things to fix what’s broken? Sweet, sweet friend, hear me when I say:

s u r r e n d e r.

Until you surrender to Him and Him alone, everything else will have you spinning your wheels and will leave you exhausted. You must first seek the Lord, do what He is calling you to do, and trust the growth to Jesus.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for always being the answer. There is no question or problem I could ever have where surrendering to You and Your perfect will isn’t the answer. Forgive me when I take over and think I have the answers. Help me to fix my gaze on You as You renew my mind and transform my heart, making me more like You. Make me quick to surrender and slow to react. I want to be rooted deeply in You because I know that is the only place I am safe and where you will produce growth for Your glory. I love You, Jesus. Amen.