Understanding Your Heart

John Stott famously said that “holiness is not a condition into which we drift.” No one grows in holiness unless it is intentional. Sexual desires, specifically, are some of the strongest feelings a person can have. But what is behind those desires? Is there more going on than just physical pleasure? 

We live in a world that doesn’t just enjoy sex—it worships sex. Other physical pleasures are important, but sex has been deified and exalted. No one sits at a computer at 2:00 a.m. looking at pictures of cheeseburgers. Yet, for all our sexual exploration, people in general are not more satisfied or fulfilled. In fact, depression, anxiety, and loneliness are at an all-time high and continuing to rise. Sexual pleasure cannot fill the deepest void in the human heart because people were ultimately made to be filled by God.

Scripture does not condemn sexual pleasure. It celebrates it—within the boundaries that allow for flourishing. The Bible outlines heterosexual, monogamous marriage as God’s boundary lines for sexuality. Within these lines, human beings can flourish, but engaging in sexual activity outside of them is sinful and dishonors God. It will ultimately lead to heartache and death.

This leads us to our fourth habit: live within the accountability of biblical sexual boundaries. Christian maturity means embracing these boundaries, not as a punishment, but as a gift intended to maximize joy. Maturity means choosing to love God above all physical pleasure and learning to rely on his power to refrain from sexual sin. The result of a life devoted to God’s view of sexuality is peace and joy. As we trust God with our sexuality, God grows our love for him. We learn to love what he loves, and we learn to prioritize holiness above our natural desires. 

Matthew 5:28 and Romans 1:18–25 explain that the sin of lust is to thirst for ultimate satisfaction in a created thing rather than in the Creator. Statistically, most people in America regularly view pornography, but God has called his people to be different. According to these verses, the sexual hunt for the perfect man, woman, or pleasure is a misdirected passion. Your heart is looking for God, and you’ve substituted something he created in his place. How has this played out in your life? What would it look like for you to live pure in heart? Ask God to draw you into new levels of purity, holiness, and victory.