Dating With Purposeনমুনা

Dating: What’s the Point?

Does your dating have purpose?

In Matthew 22 Jesus makes it clear that at the resurrection people will not be married.

What? There’s no marriage in heaven? But I thought that eternity with the one you love would be the ultimate ending to true romance. Well, I suppose it is—but not in the way we assume.

Ultimate Oneness

On the last day when Christ comes back for his bride, the Church, we will all be joined with him in heaven in perfect oneness. I guess you could say we’re all engaged to our Savior. And when he comes, implies Jesus’ response, we won’t need marriage to fill our aloneness because the power and presence of God will fulfill our every longing. We will experience ultimate oneness with the One who created us and live happily ever after.

Do you remember being in kindergarten and going on a field trip? To keep you from getting lost the teacher had you travel in a group or paired you up with a friend and told you to hold hands and stick together. God has pretty much done the same thing for us.

We are on the field trip of life. We’ve left the safety of the classroom, but we haven’t arrived at the destination yet. When Jesus comes we will have arrived, but until then, we’re still vulnerable. To help us not get lost, he’s created two groups to help us find our way. The first is the church. Here we look after one another, whether single or married, a child or adult, and encourage one another as we see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:25). Others of us get paired with a spouse—a spiritual traveling buddy, if you will—with whom we walk toward Christ.

Marriage to a person in this life is not our ultimate destination; being “wed” to our Lord is. Single people need that perspective so they won’t over-value getting married; married people so they won’t lose sight of their purpose in being together; and dating people so they will date with the purpose of finding someone who can become their spiritual buddy during the field trip of life and ultimately usher them to the arms of their Savior.

If your current habits and purposes for dating don’t pass this smell test, you may need to push pause on dating. This is not a game. In dating you are looking for a companion with whom you (and your children if you have them) can move through life toward your final destination. Ultimately, that purpose should guide your dating decisions.

Adapted from the book Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

TRY THIS

Pray with your dating partner on the first date. This sets a tone for your time together and sends a strong message about your priorities for the relationship. And, by the way, if the other person thinks it odd or out of place, you’ve learned something critical about their wisdom, maturity, and purposes for dating.