Worshipping Together as a Couple

By Pastor Andrew Wooddell

“But Samuel replied, ‘What is more pleasing to the Lord: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to his voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.”—1 Samuel 15:22 (NLT)

Weirdly enough, one of the rarest moments in my marriage is standing next to my wife and singing together in church. Maybe it’s common for you, but as a worship pastor, I’m usually standing on the platform, and my wife is in her seat. Which begs the question: If we can’t be together in that moment, how in the world can we worship together as a couple?

Scripture calls us to gather together (Hebrews 10:25) and to sing and admonish one another (Ephesians 5:19), but there’s more to worshiping God besides standing together and singing! The key is found in today’s Scripture. Saul was ignoring God’s commands and doing whatever he wanted while calling it “worship.” Samuel arrives on the scene and rebukes Saul’s selfish attitude. The truth is God wasn’t looking for songs or sacrifice. He desired a heart willing to submit to His will and obey His commands over one’s own preferences.

If you’re like me, getting married was an incredible blessing, but it also revealed my selfishness. Like Saul, I enjoyed doing what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it. But covenant relationships, like marriage and our relationship with God, require submission and honor. We are to consider others higher than ourselves, especially our spouse (Philippians 2:3). 

So how do we face our selfishness and reliance on our own preferences and choose to worship God in our marriage? The answer is in our obedience to the Word! We shouldn’t just study the Word together, but instead, we should encourage and challenge our spouses to put His ways into practice in our homes.  

You may be thinking, How does that work? My spouse is so different from me! You’ve heard the old saying, “opposites attract.” Trust me, through my last 20 years of ministry, I’ve watched God put structured people with free spirits, introverts with extroverts, and spenders with savers!

God divinely designed your marriage and purposely put you with someone who is wired differently than you and sees the world through a different lens.  As you read God’s Word, whether it’s in a church service, podcast, quiet time, or a couple’s devotional, discuss it with your spouse and ask one another, “Are we putting this principle into practice?” Or better yet, “How can we live this out in our marriage?”

And in the different perspectives of your answer, in that tension, is something beautiful. It’s an opportunity in your marriage to worship God through obedience to His Word and submission to His will! The answer may lead you towards generosity to the poor, hospitality to the stranger, or changing how you handle money or relationships. And in your obedience, the kingdom of God expands, and your marriage is marked by worshiping God and bringing glory to Him. 

Pause: Is there an area of your marriage that God is calling you to change or grow?

Practice: Discuss with your spouse and commit to a clear next step to obey the Lord in this area.  

Pray: Jesus, we're so grateful that You're our Savior, but You're also the Lord of our marriage. We want to hear Your voice and submit to Your Word, Your will, and Your ways. Reveal to us where we can follow You, and please strengthen us to confess and repent from the patterns and habits that aren't what You desire. Amen.