Change The Conversationনমুনা

Purpose in Dating

Think about that feeling when your crush finally looks your way, or you hear from a friend of a friend that they actually like you. Or maybe think about the feeling when they finally sit next to you at lunch, or lo and behold when they finally give you their number or ask for yours. Pretty great, right? Then what? 

Should you just go for it? Should you wait for them to make the first move? If you’re in college or beyond, it’s easier to move forward with a new relationship. But what about if you are in high school? Dating in high school can be very limiting. There are limitations on where you live, where you go, and how you get there. Financial resources are limited. 

Again, there are a lot of schools of thought on when the appropriate age to start dating should be. And again, I don’t think there is one right answer. I’m not here to tell you if dating in middle school/high school is a good or bad thing. There are plenty of other books written that take one side or the other. What I am offering is a different way to look at any dating relationship. I'm suggesting that you approach these relationships with intention. 

Why should you even care? I’m glad you asked.

People matter. You matter. Your friends matter. In God's view, people’s hearts and minds are precious things to be handled with care. During your school years, you have a prime opportunity to practice building friendships and learning to live in community with other believers.

What isn’t valuable, and what won’t help you grow one bit, is to hyper-focus on your love life. Since transportation, money, jobs, and other resources are limited in high school, is it really the best use of your time to be pursuing a series of relationships ... just because? Because it’s the popular thing? Because your friends think you and so-and-so would be just perfect together? Probably not. 

No matter what age you are, you have the opportunity to change the conversation and approach these relationships with intention. 

To arrive at any destination, you have to know where you are currently and where you are headed. That’s what being intentional is all about. Be clear and reasonable about the stage of life you are in, and be clear about where you are headed. Be intentional about who you spend time with. Be intentional with your activities and conversations. Because if you don’t, more than likely you will end up in a place you never planned on being.