The Roar Withinনমুনা

Day Four: Quieting My Angry Roar

I was using my cell phone’s GPS during rush hour. An incensed fellow-commuter let me know his disapproval as he roared past, gesturing and sharing language that provoked equal rage within me. It took a few deliberate moments to quiet how I really wanted to react before I could try to understand where this man might have been coming from with his seemingly misdirected anger.

The Holy Spirit reminded me of my own anger and bitterness toward someone who’d changed my life and my family’s life through the use of a cell phone while driving. In January 2013, while stopped at a traffic light, my parents were hit from behind by a young driver who was on her phone. 

My mother broke her leg, and my father had severe brain damage that left him in a coma for several months and then unable to walk for the rest of his life. The stress and physical strain of taking care of my father consequently impacted my mother’s health. They had to sell both their winter home in Florida and their home in Pennsylvania to afford their move into a dark, cramped handicap-accessible apartment.

My memories of what happened to them and to the rest of our family welled up in my mind. The rage I felt minutes before was now replaced with understanding, compassion, repentance, tears, and personal responsibility. I no longer wanted to fight the angry driver. 

I wanted to let him know that he was right, that I shouldn’t have been on my phone and would make changes. This wasn’t about his anger—I couldn’t control that. It was about me dealing with my anger. There was truth in what he was saying to me, and when I was willing to acknowledge that truth, it defused my anger.

Many of us have learned to use an angry roar when we feel disrespected or misunderstood. It’s how we attempt to gain control. That roar is not coming from our core but from our flesh, which is always coveting, always striving to get what we want, forgetting we already have everything we’ll ever need. It’s that roar that needs to be understood. 

However, there is a time and a place to listen to the roar within—when it comes from a righteous anger, a roar that is not rooted in our flesh but deep within the character of God. It can lead us to protect the vulnerable and engage in battle against the enemy’s lies that keep attacking God’s beloved.

Empathizing with another’s point of view can reframe our response of anger. Practice listening before speaking.