Death Does Not Own Meনমুনা

WHEN THE NEWS IS BAD; TURN UP YOUR LIGHT!

Dan had many hiccups along the way with several surgeries.  He also had many celebrations, as with each clean checkup, we would celebrate!  He retired in 2015, not because of his amputation, but because he received another unwanted loss; the diagnosis of early stages of dementia.  He gave up driving shortly thereafter, another loss and a tough loss for anyone.  Driving represents freedom in a way.  Yet, he remained positive for the most part.

We noticed he had dropped a significant amount of weight in a short time.  I made a doctor’s appointment and they set up a cat scan which revealed cancer had returned.  We got the call that the doctor wanted to see us in his office.  When you get a call like that, you know something is very wrong. 

It was June of 2017.  I remember as we both sat in his doctor’s office awaiting the doctor to open the door, we made small talk.  I’m sure many thoughts were going through his head, as they sure were in mine.  The door opened and the doctor reached out to shake hands with Dan, and as he shook hands, he said, “When you get a call to come in, the news is never good.”  He went on to explain that his cancer had left the bone and formed a mass the size of a baseball behind Dan’s heart and another walnut-sized growth was attached to his esophagus and both were located in areas that were too dangerous to operate.  

I felt numb and just remember getting up and going over to the table that Dan was sitting on and slipped my arm in his. Dan said, “Are you sure there is nothing; chemo, radiation?”  The Doctor replied that he would refer us to his bone cancer specialist.  We met with the specialist who met with a tumor board and they all individually talked with us. All concluded that at the most, Dan had a few weeks or months left.

“How does one deal with such news; the news that you are about to lose your life?”

I retired from my job immediately to take care of Dan and to spend all my remaining time with him.  He loved the water, and we took many walks by the river in our community and went to the harbor often.  We had a place we loved to go to called Hidden Lake Gardens and so we took a few picnics, but the other thing he kept asking to do, was to visit those who were shut-in, those in their home, and those in nursing homes.  

“Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a basket. Instead, they set it on a stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5: 15-16 

When a death sentence is given to you, there is no time for a pity party.  It is time to live as much as you can.  There is no time to deal with loss, you just have to live!  Every day that he was able, we would take day trips, go for a river walk, or be visiting a shut-in.  Dan loved to sing and so we would sing old gospel hymns to many of the ones we visited.  It was never about him; in fact, all of those he visited died not even knowing Dan was dying too.  He just went to encourage and bring them cheer and smiles.

CAN YOU RELATE?

The only thing that can defeat you, is you!  If you dwell on your loss whatever it is, you will lose.  Yet if you use all that you have that is within you to reach out beyond your circumstance, you win!  Today’s verse was Dan’s favorite and I believe he knew he had little time left to turn up his light in this world, so while he could, that became his desire.

WHAT WE LEARNED IN TODAY’S STUDY:

• Sometimes life throws more than one loss at us!

• If the news is bad, it is time to turn the bad into something good!

• When things are tough, it is time to reach out beyond the circumstance to help another!

• If the news is bad, it’s time to turn your light up!