Parenting Above Fearনমুনা

Questions to Reflect On

What is the world afraid of?

What is my role as a parent?

 Devotion

Remember, in a covenantal relationship the other is never the enemy. The enemy is any barrier that inhibits or prevents relational intimacy. So, where do we go once we have decided to do our best to parent with love instead of fear? We need to be cognizant of what may be working against us. 

In the modern world, we have a fairly new gift of instant information at our fingertips. This can be helpful when used with open curiosity and self-control, but can also become an abyss into which we may spiral and become addicted to the lie that information will help us control fear. One problem with infinite information is that it draws you further outside of yourself while demanding that you become responsible for everything. We begin to play with our imagination based on fear, and that imagination slowly tells us that we can no longer trust ourselves. Compounding information, compounds uncertainty which breeds fear. 

The farther away we move from the spirit of truth, love, and wisdom given to us as a gift by the Holy Spirit, the harder it is to recognize when fear has taken the driver's seat and become our false messenger of love. When we feel inadequate and begin searching for an outside source to tell us how to do things right, we may be allowing fear to take the wheel. 

Instead, meditate on the words of truth that God has given to us in Psalm 139:13-14. The truth is that we are known by our Father. He is there in our wandering minds and our fear-filled imaginations. He does not push us into our fear, but gently provides light that leads us back to love as we see in Psalm 139:23-24, "Search me, God, and know my heart; Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there is any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way."

The way to keep from worry is to remember that we only have grace for the moment we are in. Live in the grace of today, it is a gift that removes our perceived control and brings us back to the present moment that is filled with love. 

Verses to Meditate On

Psalm 139:11-14

If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,

And the light around me will be night,”

Even darkness is not dark to You,

And the night is as bright as the day.

Darkness and light are alike to You.

For You created my innermost parts;

You wove me in my mother’s womb.

I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made;

Wonderful are Your works,

And my soul knows it very well.

Isaiah 8:12 

“You are not to say, ‘It is a conspiracy!’

Regarding everything that this people call a conspiracy,

And you are not to fear what they fear or be in dread of it. 

1 John 4:16-19

We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, we also are in this world. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us.

Including Kids in the Conversation

A way of self-protection can be to pretend or believe to have all the answers. The world has a lot of information available to us, and it is hard to decide what is true and what is false. Sometimes the information we receive is scary and makes us feel out of control. Do you ever feel like that? If I hear too much information, it can make me feel overwhelmed and powerless and that can lead to feeling afraid. Something that helps is to remember that I cannot control the world, I only have power to address what is happening within myself and with those around me. 

Read together or put into your own words Psalm 139:23. When the world seems so big it can feel lonely. This verse reminds us that God cares about how we feel and what is in our hearts. He doesn’t just care, but He searches our hearts in order to know us because He deeply loves us. He wants us to live our life believing in that love instead of hiding from the world because our fear feels too big. 

Questions to Ask Your Kids

Ask your children what they do when they feel afraid. What makes them feel better or less afraid? 

What do you think people are afraid of?  What do you think your friends are afraid of?

What do you think would be helpful when we hear or see something that makes us afraid?

What are you truly afraid of? Can you name it?