Gaining the Heart of Godনমুনা

Day Four: A Dark Heart

Many people believe in a utilitarian God who gives you what you deserve. You reap what you sow. But the God of Scripture has done everything possible to show that, with him, we reap so much more than we sow. This piece of truth can be really hard to get from your head to your heart.

Let’s consider Jesus’ Parable of the Lost Son as a family portrait. The older son is sensible and hardworking; the younger son is adventurous and impulsive; the father is filled with love for both sons. At the end of the story, the one person standing outside missing the party is the older brother. He shows us something very significant about what could keep us from the abundant love of God. He shows us the destructive and dangerous potential of comparing.

Not everyone appreciates the father’s abundance. We stand with the older brother when we treat God as if he were an equation that has to add up to our version of fairness. But God is not a measurable equation. God is a being filled with mystery. The Spirit of God blows where he will, like the wind. He is a mystery beyond formula. 

Yet, we often still insist on pinning God down and making him a measurable formula that we can control. If you want a god without mystery, you will find God very frustrating. Look at the older brother’s emotional reaction to the return of his brother who makes it back home safely. He’s angry! And even more surprising, he refuses to go inside to be with his father. We can be like the older brother - put off by his ways of generous love. Knowing God without accepting the mystery of his grace can do the disservice of keeping God at arms-length, but he wants to pull you close.

This is what the older brother showed us. He lived in such a way that he thought he earned the father’s reward. He proved the worth of his existence by what he had done. It showed that he didn’t really believe he needed grace. He compares himself with his younger brother and accuses the father of being unfair; this shows the darkness of his heart. He doesn’t know that by focusing on himself and comparing himself to others, he is actually keeping himself distanced from God. The people who struggle with comparison the most can’t come to terms with God’s abundant grace.

Reflection: God sees the areas of our hearts that are beyond our own view. In love and grace, he wants to expose the dark parts of our hearts. Ask him to help you see what you've been hiding in the dark.

Prayer: "Father, help me avoid the danger of comparison and show me the mystery of your grace. Amen."