You’re Not the Boss of Me: 7 Keys to Managing Anxietyনমুনা

Tame Your Triggers

Philippians 4:6-7

Emotional self-awareness isn’t for the weak. Coming face-to-face with wounds and scars that have existed for years or decades, impacts most of our interactions. At some point in the healing process, we have a choice to either focus on what we have lost or pay attention to what we still have. In order to move forward and stop anxiety from bossing us around, we must tame our triggers.

Triggers can be both positive and negative. We’ve all smelled the delicious scent of goodies in the oven and been transported back to being a kid in Grandma’s kitchen. On the other hand, we’ve probably heard a phrase that left us feeling criticized and experiencing an adverse reaction. A trigger is your body’s way of telling you that there is a deeper issue at play. 

When the COVID-19 lockdown occurred, I found myself angry and frustrated. My three teenage sons were handling all the dramatic changes like champs, but I was anxious, frantic and just plain mad. Protecting my family was of the utmost importance, but I couldn’t get over the angst my body was feeling. A conversation with a trusted friend reminded me the last time I lived in such isolation was during my separation and divorce. I was experiencing a very real and terrifying trigger.

I felt almost immediate relief being able to identify what was triggering my emotion. In order to process it, I had to do some internal investigation. The first isolation I experienced during my separation and divorce was born out of cruelty and deception. The isolation I was experiencing during the pandemic was born out of love and protection of those I love in order to keep them healthy. 

Part of taming my trigger was recognizing the difference between the actual act that hurt me and my feelings tied to that hurt. Someone else caused that hurt, but the feelings I experienced as a result were mine to manage. We can’t heal from hurt and the resulting triggers if we don’t own our feelings. We can’t heal emotions we don’t own.

I love God’s promise of everything coming together for good in Philippians 4:6-7 (MSG): “Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.”

We rarely think of our negative triggers as “good.” However, when we get curious about our triggers and identify what is really going on in our hearts and minds, it allows us to move toward healing.

When you get triggered, get curious. You’re being invited to dig deep. By going deeper and doing some internal investigation, you’re able to separate the hurt from your emotions, and you’ll be able to limit the emotional impact of negative triggers and show anxiety who’s boss.