Look In: Becoming Aware of What's Happening Insideনমুনা

Day Three – Thoughts Turn Into Belief

Devotional

In Jeremiah 29:11 NIV it says “.. for I know the plans I have for you…” but I learned that in Jeremiah 29:11 KJV it says: “... for I know the thoughts I think toward you..” Don’t you want to know what those thoughts are? I sure do. I want to discover what God's true and uncontaminated thoughts are towards me.

I’ve come to find that learning the truth is a fight. I fight daily from the belly of emptiness. From the holes inside my heart. And while I desire him, even still, sometimes I don’t feel like reaching out to him. Does that ever happen to you? When you just don’t feel it, you don’t feel him? In those moments, we have to be honest. It’s okay to let him know we don’t feel it. I often make the mistake of assuming that if I don’t feel him, then he isn’t there. So, how do we surpass our feelings and allow ourselves to be still with God knowing he is there with us? 

Before tackling any emails, text messages or other daily tasks. I make coffee, listen to worship music, and invite him to share with me. Whatever he wants to share, I’m available and open.

I tuck my phone away in another room, and I start off by praying, “Jesus, I invite you into this. I want to learn to hear your voice. I ask you to astound me and make it so clear when you speak that I cannot deny it.”

I grab my journal (or computer if you’re a typist) and go through the following questions:

1. What am I feeling today?   
2. What happened yesterday?    
3. What do I feel heavy about? Do I feel guilty about anything? (I express, "these      feelings are yours Father.")   
4. God, do you have anything you want to say to me? What do you think?  

Taking time to reflect on my days, on my mind, body, and heart, has helped me learn the voice of God. And it’s helped me recognize that he was already showing up way more than I ever realized, in the little areas of my life that I never gave him credit for. It’s helped me understand the difference between feeling convicted and self-condemning

Bringing my worries, struggles and temptations to light revealed the power of God’s love. Sharing with him only magnified that love to its true size and dissipated the fear. My search for answers about if I am worthy of love has ended. Yes, I will absolutely fight my temptations and old ways because they don’t die easily. But I am still loved in spite of them. May we seek to live with a deep assurance that we are fully loved. No relationship, career or financial success can give us the kind of love that we yearn for. This posture of living loved is rooted only in the One who created us.

PRAYER:

Lord, I want to know what intimacy means. True, real, honest intimacy. I pray that when my heart seeks outside validation, you will confirm in me the validation that no one can give but you. Confirm that I am loved, seen, known, and heard by you. Amen.