Life After Divorceনমুনা

ALLOW YOURSELF TO GRIEVE

Grief is God's design to bring us to wholeness. We are often told to suck it up, get over it, and move on by people who are uncomfortable with our grief. Even in the worst circumstances, it is human and healthy to mourn the loss of a relationship. Putting on a brave face, burying your sorrow, or overcompensating in other ways, will not allow you to heal. Take the time you need to grieve in a healthy manner, that will allow you to have a loving and trusting relationship in the future.

The Stages of Grief:

Denial - Failure to accept the reality of the divorce.

Anger – As you begin to deal with the reality of your divorce, it is not unusual to experience the emotion of anger. You may show resentment and even confront your spouse if you consider him/her to be responsible for the breakdown of your marriage.

Bargaining – The stage of grief in which you may try to reason with your spouse and negotiate terms to stay together. If you fail, you may return to the anger stage of your grief.

Depression – This stage of grief usually emerges once the individual has arrived at a sense of finality regarding the divorce. Depression shows up after the previous emotions have subsided. The duration varies based on the individual.

Acceptance – Stage five is the beginning of the healing process. It allows you to address the issue of divorce from a place of reality. You are now ready to move forward in your “new normal” and to rebuild your life from that place.

QUESTIONS: Have you allowed yourself to grieve your divorce? Where are you in your grief process: (1) denial, (2) anger, (3) bargaining, (4) depression, or (5) acceptance?

PRAYER: Dear Lord, strip away every pretense and barrier which hinders me from moving forward in the grief process. Make me whole again. Amen.