The Marriage Talks Part 1 | Unityনমুনা

Day 1 | Genesis 2:24 | It Started at the Altar

This devotional works best as an audio experience. Hit the play button now, and read along if you like.

Hello friends, and welcome to The Marriage Talks. My name is Kris Langham, and I will be your guide as we explore what the Bible says about marriage. So where do we start? Well, the Bible’s first marriage story is almost the beginning of the Bible itself. Way back in Genesis 2—before the covenants, before the fall, before redemption was even necessary, when the world was pure, and mankind and everything else was good—way back then, God made a man and a woman, and He said: 

“The two will become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). 

And that simple little miracle—that heavenly work of mathematical mystery: one plus one equals one—marked the completion of God’s creative work. They were made, male and female, in God’s image, a reflection of His goodness. Together they were one. And God said it was good. The whole world was good, and they lived with no shame.

And they did not live happily ever after. 

Sorry, the story goes wonky from there. Which for a lot of folks sounds about right for marriage. Started great, then something went wonky. Or maybe it didn’t even start great, but still, it always felt like it was supposed to be great. Like there’s something there, something pure and good. Something meant to be. 

It’s like picking up a beautiful instrument that we know was created to make music—magnificent music—and if we could just figure out how to play it right, it would be amazing. But something is most definitely out of tune. Or broken. Or maybe I’m broken. 

Well, keep reading the Bible, and you’ll find out pretty quick that you are. Broken that is. So is your spouse. So is the whole system. The world, this life, even marriage—it’s all broken by sin and cursed by God. So what do we do with that—broken people in a broken world trying to make a good marriage? 

Example. It was Sunday morning. I was up early reviewing my sermon on marriage. The whole house was still asleep, and as I was reflecting on God’s word and the beauty of God’s design for marriage, I was surprised to hear my wife’s voice from the bedroom, “Honey… dog barf.”

I knew what happened. Our little terrier, George McDuff, had vomited.  

That moment, that glorious moment of stark contrast, captures so well the challenges of Christian marriage. Why is it so good and so difficult all at once? Why is it so hard to get it right? And most importantly, who’s job is it to clean up the dog barf? 

We’ll come back to that. But first, we need to establish two foundational facts: we are broken, and God has a plan for redemption.

That word is key. Redemption is God’s act of saving something broken—of rescuing from sin and restoring to what it was meant to be. Marriage was meant to be good, and God is redeeming it.

In the Bible, marriage and redemption—are deeply connected. Marriage doesn’t redeem us; Jesus does that at the cross. But your redemption doesn’t end there. God’s work to sanctify us keeps going. And your marriage—or your single life—plays a key role in that work.

When we’re young, most of us look at marriage as a way to make us both happier. So happy together. How is the weather? Never mind. But what if marriage itself needs to be redeemed? And what if your marriage—with all of its high hopes and deep frustrations—is something that God uses as a part your redemption journey? And even more than that—what if God uses your marriage as a picture for the people around you of His redemption story for all humanity? Wouldn’t that be something?

Well, it is and He does. It’s pretty amazing actually.

Now marriage is not God’s only plan for our redemption journey, and He works differently in every life. Paul tells us in 1st Corinthians 7 that he thinks it’s better to stay single and serve God more that way. Seriously. Marriage is good too, of course, but it is not God’s plan for every Christian, nor is it inherently better, happier, or easier. In many ways, the Bible says that single life is better. But for this series, I’m talking to those of you who either are married or hope to get married. Which is also good.

So here’s what you can expect. Married, pre-married, or just considering—this is for you. This plan is part of our Bible Basics Explained series on Through the Word. But this one’s a little different. This one works better with some talking. Ideally, you follow the plan as a couple either listen together or listen separate and talk it through later. I’ll provide discussion questions for each day. You’ll get even more out of it if you talk it over with other couples—like friends, a mentor couple, or a couples small group. The talking is key so that you can apply it to your life and your relationship dynamics. But if it’s just you and me, that works too. Thanks for keeping me company. And you can listen daily or weekly or binge the whole series. But take the time to read the passage and answer the questions. That part really helps. 

So again—where do we start? Well, we could pick a nice happily-ever-after story from the Bible. Let’s see, who should we pick? David and Bathsheeba? Adultery, murder. Nope. Samson and Delilah? Manipulation, narcissism. Not that one. How about Jacob and Rachel? He loves her. He works seven years just to win her hand! So sweet. Then he’s deceived into marrying her sister. And he ends up marrying her too later. And yeah—it’s complicated. And mostly not happy.

Turns out happily ever after is for fairy tales and rom-coms. Don’t get me wrong. I love marriage. I am very happily married. But my marriage has to deal with real life. So does yours. And thankfully, so does the Bible. Happiness and marriage are connected in the Bible, but the Bible gets real.

Consider Hosea. Good, godly man who married a woman... who cheated on him. He named his kids Not My People and Unloved because they weren’t his kids, and he didn’t love them! It’s in the Bible. It’s not a happy story, and it is definitely not an easy story, but it is a redemption story. 

Read it to the end. God takes a broken, messed up marriage—wrecked by sin—and He redeems it. By the time it’s done, Not My People is renamed My People. Unloved is now Loved. And Romans uses that story as a picture of us. We were broken, now we are loved. We are His people. And God tells the redemption story through the picture of a broken marriage made whole. The process isn’t easy, but it is beautiful. And it is a work of God. 

So where do we start? We start where every marriage does: at the altar. Think about that. Your marriage begins—at a place of sacrifice. Because one plus one doesn’t equal one without real sacrifice. But that same altar is part of God’s redemption story. We’ll dig in deeper tomorrow. But first, time for discussion.

For Thought & Discussion:

Question 1: Why do you think that the place a marriage starts is called an altar? What are you sacrificing there?

Question 2: How do you think God uses marriage in your redemption story?

Talk through those, and remember to read today’s verses. And we’ll meet you back here for day two.

Read Genesis 2:24 & Romans 9:25-26

All verses are quoted from the NIV.