From Trauma to Triumphনমুনা

Component #1 - Triggers

Definition: Cause; an event or situation; to happen or exist; to release, or activate by means of (Merriam-Webster, 2020).

Triggers can manifest as a result of usually a painful or traumatic experience.  This experience or at least the effects of it is embedded into our psyche and imprinted on our hearts.  Some common examples are family friction, abusive relationships, horrific accidents, financial issues, death, divorce, infidelity and even illness.  I had to learn that triggers are a form of imprisonment.  

My mother passed when I was seven years old, a few days before my eighth birthday. I still vividly remember the frequent hospital stays, caring for her and watching my father secretly mourn. 

As I grew up, I unconsciously fell into a grief cycle. Around my birthday, up to the point of my mother's, which is May 20th, I would go through depression and bouts of anger. Even my closest friends were aware and would be sensitive during this time. When I came to the realization of what was happening, I discovered that this traumatic experience caused a trigger in me.

A trigger can be cyclical, activating during a certain time or season of the year. Mine was the spring of every year. A time that represented fresh beginnings, meant something completely different for me. It can even be an instant explosion from a subtle reminder. I have had many of those as well. For example, I smelt my mother's scent and had an emotional outburst. 

As I became more aware of my patterns, I learned to be completely aware of myself and took control of my emotions. The best way to address a trigger is to navigate your way through it. How does that look? The next time you notice an episode on the rise or even if it's looking back in retrospect, ask yourself what do you feel and why do you feel what you are feeling? Search within yourself to address every lie associated with those negative feelings.  For me, I heard negative thoughts, like: " You are going to die from what your mother died from", "No point in falling in love because it will be snatched from you", " You will never be a mother", "You can't be happy", "You are motherless and you don't have an identity". I started journaling and affirming myself through scripture and positive thinking. 

This is the area where the devil likes to hang out.  He will plant seeds of destruction and demoralizing thoughts, while watering the ones that you planted as well. You don't have to receive or believe them, even if there are some truths to your horrible experiences, you can rest in the arms of God and give it to him (1st Peter 5:7). Yes, I still cry for my mother. But, there is an acceptance that I have learned to embrace over time and I found liberty in recognizing my triggers and protecting my peace.  I know that is what she would have wanted.

God is our 'safe space' and we can let him access even those darkest places of our hearts. His illuminating light shines healing to the root of every traumatic experience because He wants peace for us (John 14:27).  So, be well and at peace. Together, we will recognize and conquer every trigger!