The Journey to Freedom from Sexual Shameনমুনা

When Brokenness Enters

You are not a mistake.

But mistakes have been made as you've journeyed through life. Things have happened that have caused hurt, humiliation, rejection, sorrow. Some of these were done to you; some were done by you. The result was pain that needed to be medicated, holes that needed to be filled, identities that needed to be masked.

But God sees you, through the mask. And He loves you now as much as when He formed you.

As you started to walk on this journey, as an infant, a toddler who was already a sexual being—a male or female image bearer–you already began to be impacted by brokenness. Your own selfishness began to emerge, but what was more formative was the brokenness of those around you. Mother and father, if they were present. Siblings. Aunts and uncles. Cousins. Adults and adolescents that came and went.

They brought into your life baggage—wounds from their lives, sin natures of their own. If your family was intact, there were still slights, hurts, behaviors, neediness that opened up cracks in your experience of the world. And into those cracks crept the beginnings of thoughts and actions you wanted to keep secret.

Maybe the trauma was deep. Abuse or abandonment. Addiction or adultery. Porn or promiscuity. Those experiences did more than just cause confusion and pain. They created a distorted sense of normalcy, which shapes patterns of belief and behavior that cause further isolation. Perhaps they're patterns that persist, no matter how hard you try, no matter how well you disguise it.

But God sees you. He's near, He hasn't left you. And He isn't ashamed of you.

Because your Creator is also your Redeemer, which means He walks with you into the very valleys you are trying to hide, the dark, secret places you are trying to ignore. Where the path is hard, rocky, even dangerous, there He desires to walk with you, talk with you, carry you if necessary, even prepare a meal for you there when needed. Because He is leading you to higher pastures, places that are sunlit, verdant, nourishing, safe—but they have to be walked to, through the pain.

And He will never leave you alone along that path.

Do you feel a need to hide today? How might that change if you believe that God is with you, and not ashamed of you?