Wives Who Win: How to Win in Your Marriage God's Wayনমুনা

Winning in your Marriage through Self-Change

It is ok for you to pray and ask God to change your spouse. In fact, scripture encourages us to pray for one another and to pray without ceasing. The issue is when you pray for your spouse because you believe they are the reason why the marriage is not thriving. When you believe that you are perfect, or next to it, and only when your spouse changes, things will get better. That is a false sense of reality. As much as God wants your spouse to change, He wants to do the work inside of you as well. 

You can put so much attention on the other person, forgetting that you need God as much as your spouse does. God’s strength is made perfect in your weakness in wanting to be in control of what happens in your marriage relationship. You and your spouse are different people and for good reason: if you were the same, one would be unnecessary. Differences are good but they are not always adaptable or likeable.

God is not going to change everyone around you just so you will feel comfortable or adequate. Some things you will simply have to deal with and learn to work through in accepting your spouse for who they are. This is hard, I know, but may I submit to you that when you focus on what changes need to occur in your life and take your role of self-leadership seriously, the change in you will provoke change within your spouse. 

While you are focusing on changing your spouse, God is focusing on changing you and He wants to do this is by getting close to you. He wants to purify your heart, making you acceptable for Him. And guess what? He wants to do the same for your spouse as well. He desires to abide in and with you by working through your heart simultaneously as He works through your spouse’s heart. 

God loves you both equally and wants the same for each of you, if you can believe that. God wants you to use your influence to connect and reach your spouse so that He is glorified. He is the only creator and sustainer of change! Believe God today and take ownership of what needs to change in you and leave your spouse up to God!

Reflection: What change needs to occur in you so that your marriage can bear good fruit?

If winning in your marriage has been a challenge for you, I encourage you to connect with the Wives Who Win  community for additional tools and resources on how to win in your marriage God's way.