Overcoming Your Mate’s Fear

There are 365 “fear not” in the Scripture. It’s clear that we fear a host of things, yet for many of us, the greatest fear is the fear of rejection. Perhaps you or your mate fears failure or appearing stupid, forgetful, or insensitive. All of these can become grounds for rejection.

The more fears your mate has, the less open he or she will be in relationships. If the words withdrawn and unexpressive describe your mate, then recognize it as a possible clue to actual or perceived rejections of the past. And remember Elisha’s word to his fearful servant: “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them” (6:16). Fear dissipates when someone that is fearful knows that significant people in his life (people like you!) are with him.

Be careful of communicating rejection to your mate in any way. Instead, seek to understand your mate. Ask yourself, Why is my mate fearful? You may need to ask forgiveness for adding to the problem.

A fearful person needs to be received gently in love. He or she needs to be heard. Those fears are real, no matter how inconsequential they may seem to you. To be ignored can make your spouse feel uncared for and unimportant. First John 4:18 promises us, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” Choose to love, and see how God will use your love to help your spouse overcome her fears!

Taken from FamilyLife Marriage Bible