Start with Yes- A 5 Day Foster Care and Adoption Reading Planনমুনা

Day 3- Tandem

There have been times through foster care and adoption that I have found myself searching for words, trying to identify emotions, struggling to make sense of what is going on inside of me. I have come to the realization, after often finding myself there, that I have to be ok with the struggle. 

Behind the curtain of foster care and adoption, we have to be willing to sit in the yuck and be ok under the weight, with the security that we are not sitting alone.

I had court, a bit ago, for one of our sweet littles. While I stood five feet from the Judge’s bench, I had a front row seat as our Sweet Little M’s parents lost their parental rights. It took everything inside of me not to become a puddle right there in the front of the courtroom at the very thought of that loss. 

Can you even begin to let yourself feel the anguish of losing every right to your child? Here is what I realized in that moment: we aren’t that different, that mom and me, or M’s father and my husband. With just a couple of different choices, less opportunities, or a lack of support system, our story could have been vastly different. 

So there I was again, torn between the brokenness and the redemption of my Sweet Little M’s story. I never want that to go away. I never want to be so “used to it” that I don’t feel the heaviness. 

We have to be willing to sit and hold space for moments like that day in the courthouse. Somewhere in the future, my girl will ask me about that day. Somewhere in her life she will feel the weight of that heaviness and loss. But my desire is that we teach her to find her identity in Christ and that I honor hard moments well, so I can sit under that weight with her.