How We See Our Loved Ones

Have you ever felt upset with how your loved ones responded to a loss? Perhaps you felt frustrated that they did not express strong emotions or want to speak about their grief. This seems to be a common experience that many of us face when dealing with loss, so what is the root of this experience? 

Is it possible that the deeper question we are facing is, “Am I grieving in an acceptable way?” If others act differently from us, we may feel negatively about our expression of grief. 

Additionally, in our weakness, we look to others to care for us. When they don't behave as we hope, we become disappointed.

In the Bible, when Lazarus had died, Mary felt upset with Jesus’ behavior. When she saw Jesus, “she fell at his feet and said, ‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died'” (John 11:32). She was grieving her loss, and she was upset that Jesus was not there. She was unhappy with a PERFECT person’s choices. How much easier is it for us to be upset with our loved ones who do not behave as we wish?

We can let our hurt get the best of our relationships. When we need each other most, we are also quite vulnerable to becoming hurt and distant from those we love. 

​How has your view of your loved ones changed as a result of your grief? Is it possible for you to let go of some of the pain and ask God to help you accept that everyone grieves differently? 

Let's pray.

God, 

Thank You for my loved ones. Help me see them as You see them. I want to be whole, and I want my relationships to be strong. You know how my grief has impacted the way I view my loved ones and even how I view You. Strengthen me emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Fill me with love.

Amen.