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Vulnerability—How to Open Up When You Just Want to Shut Down

James, the brother of Jesus, encouraged his friends to practice vulnerability two thousand years ago when he wrote these words: “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective” (James 5:16). This Scripture reveals something surprising: the hard work of opening up to others and showing them your weaknesses and failures brings healing. 

In and of itself, the act of becoming vulnerable is cathartic, liberating, and healthy. Hiding our fears, shame, and shortcomings, however, only shoves us deeper into doubt and discouragement. If we remember that the people we need to be vulnerable with are also vulnerable and insecure, then it’s easier to open ourselves without pretense or fear.

We also separate ourselves from God when we refuse to become vulnerable to the very One who knows us best and loves us most. John, one of Jesus’s closest friends as well as one of his twelve disciples, wrote about the acceptance known through honesty and vulnerability: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). 

The risk to vulnerability is that another may refuse to accept and love us as we really are. We internalize that sense of rejection as shame. This is precisely what happened when Adam and Eve disobeyed God and ate from a certain tree that God had declared off-limits. Genesis 3:7 describes how they became aware of their nakedness, felt shame, and attempted to cover themselves so that they would not be truly seen by God. Ironically, God loved them completely and perfectly, but their failure to follow His command resulted in fear of rejection that manifested itself as shame—of failing, of being naked, of being rejected.

It is always fear that threatens to keep us from being vulnerable. That’s why what people often project as strength—seeming to have it all together, to be unshakable and detached—is often not strength at all.

The remarkable message of the gospel is that God has seen us at our worst, our most naked and exposed . . . and He didn’t walk away. He moved toward us. He moves toward us still.

Confession and vulnerability before God are risks worth taking. Use this time to confess what you hide from God in order to experience His forgiveness and acceptance.