Hope for the Postpartum Momনমুনা

Don’t Go Through This Alone

We talked a bit on Day 2 about how isolation is not your friend and fellowship with others can be a lifeline. Today we will expand on that. 

Postpartum depression often creates feelings of guilt, shame, and worthlessness, which only increase the tendency to isolate, both physically and emotionally. A dark bedroom is not your answer, so allow God’s light to shine into all your dark spaces. “This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light. In Him, there is no darkness at all.” -John 1:5. Allowing His presence to light your dark moments requires transparency and authenticity. Allowing others into your dark world of postpartum  struggles can be difficult, but it is an important step in your healing process. 

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is in Exodus 17:10-13. The Israelites and Amalekites were in battle against each other. Moses was behind the scenes praying over the battle. He held up a staff in his hand and prayed for victory. As long as his arms were up, the Israelites were winning the battle. When his hands fell down, the Israelites were losing the battle. His hands grew tired as he held them up all day, so his friends Aaron and Hur came alongside him and lifted his arms. His hands remained lifted until the sun went down, and thus the Israelites won the battle. 

This is a beautiful picture of friendship and community. Moses could not do it on his own. He would have dropped his hands; the Israelites would have lost the battle, and the following verses would have been a different story. But Aaron and Hur saw that he needed help and stepped in. Aaron held up one arm. Hur held up the other arm. And the three of them saw victory take place. 

I think it is very common for a lot of us to act like everything is okay. When we are okay, we don’t see a lot of help coming from others because they think we don’t need it. It’s very important (and humbling) to ask for help. It’s okay to not be okay. And there are people in your life that would love to come and help you. The first step is saying you need help. Who are your friends like Aaron and Hur that can come and hold up your arms? Who can provide a meal one night so you don’t have to cook. Who can get you groceries one week because you are drowning at home? Who can come hold your baby so you can nap? 

Community is crucial. If there is no one in your life that can help you during this season, pray God provides a friend for you. Or couple friends for you and your husband. Life is meant to be lived together. We are not made to live on an island by ourselves. 

Find friends who will encourage you with good and helpful words like Ephesians 4:29 says. 1 Peter 4:9 says to “offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” It’s important to stop here and note that it is important to remember these verses and truth when you see others going through a hard time. Whether it is a postpartum season or something else, be like Aaron and Hur. Lift up their hands. Encourage them. Do something for them. 

Don’t live alone in your postpartum season. Don’t fake fine. Don’t act like everything is okay. People genuinely care about you and want the best for you. They want to help you. Humbly ask for help. Stay in community. It makes a hard season a little easier. 

Today’s Action Step:

Every day, we want to encourage you not only with truth, but also with an action step. Today’s action step is to be intentional with community. Think of people in your life that you can reach out to. Contact them today and let them know of a need you have. If you do not have community in your life, brainstorm ways to get it. Get plugged in at a church. Send the first text to a new friend asking them to go to coffee. Community is so important for all seasons of our lives, including our postpartum season. Seek out safe people to share with, allowing them to speak life into you. Utilize formal resources as well, such as the Postpartum Support International organization, which offers education, resources, and support groups for postpartum mothers. 

Prayer for the Postpartum Mom

Lord, I pray for the boldness to ask for help. I pray for the humility to not fake “fine.” I pray for Your provision through my friends and community. Thank You for the encouragement and hope You provide. Thank You for my sweet baby. Thank You for the good, the bad, the easy and the hard. You are faithful through it all. I am grateful for You and Your Word that provides truth and hope for my weary soul. Amen.