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Lie 2 : “I can’t change.”

When we experience a setback in pursuing restored sexuality by relapsing into old sin, we might feel like we’ve lost all of the progress we’ve made. We may even feel like we have to start this difficult journey over again or become convinced that the finish line will be impossible to cross. At my lowest points, I’ve felt tempted to bow out of the fight and simply believe the lie that “I can’t change.”

There’s an element of truth to that misleading phrase. In my own strength I can’t change, but through the work of the Holy Spirit change is possible (2 Corinthians 3:18). The Holy Spirit’s process of transforming us spiritually (called sanctification) can be compared to how a potter shapes clay. The Holy Spirit sculpts and molds us to become more Christlike by warring against our sinful desires, convicting us of sin, and empowering us to live God-centered lives (Galatians 5:22-23). Although this is primarily the Spirit’s work, we participate in the process by surrendering ourselves to Him and committing to this lifelong process. 

Similar to how the clay is soft and pliable in the potter’s hands, we allow the Spirit to mold our affections, thoughts, and behavior. As long as the clay is wet, it remains workable. But without water it hardens and is no longer fashionable by the potter’s touch. Just as water moistens clay, God’s word is spiritual water that softens our hearts and souls (Ephesians 5:26-27). Submitting our lives to scripture helps us remain spiritually pliable so that the Spirit can shape us into vessels that fulfill God’s vision and purpose for our lives (Galatians 5:16, Romans 9:20-21).  

When we surrender our shape and form to the potter’s hands, we’re simultaneously denying our feelings and sexual desires the creative license to mold our thoughts, affections, and behavior. Paul sums this up by saying: “If through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live” (Romans 8:13b NLT).

So what does this mean for us?

Since we must participate in the Spirit’s remodeling of our souls, we shouldn’t expect a complete transformation to happen overnight. The Holy Spirit uses God’s word to teach us, convict us of sin, build us up, reveal God’s beauty, and equip us for service, but this takes time (John 14:26, 1 Corinthians 2:14-16). Some practical ways that have helped me to be shaped by the Spirit include praying God’s word, meditating on it, and reading the Bible daily. Singing worship songs and Bible journaling also helps me maintain a grateful attitude for all that God has already done and continually does for me. 

Just as a potter patiently forms the spinning clay with his touch, the Holy Spirit will patiently work with you to fashion you into a replica of Christ. What’s important is that we remain patient with ourselves and malleable throughout the process. 

God will finish the masterpiece that he began in your life. This is a promise we have from scripture (Philippians 1:6). From a human perspective, yes, this kind of life-producing change is impossible, but with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26).  

Exercise for the day:

Take some clay –– whether it be toy clay from your local dollar store or modeling clay you purchase online –– and use it to mold a small memento to remind you to be pliable in the Holy Spirit’s hands. Consider etching one of today’s verses on it. If you choose to keep it to play with, remember to wet it now and then to keep it from hardening. 

Questions for Reflection:

How can you practically keep your Spirit wet with God’s word? When will you prioritize reading the Bible in your schedule?