It's Not Over: Move Past Disappointment & Dream Againনমুনা

Discontentment

Why do you have a hammer?” There was mild curiosity in my wife’s voice—until she looked down at my other hand. Then I heard mild concern. “Is that a saw?” “It’s called a Sawzall,” I said. “Okay . . .” Jennifer responded, still concerned. “Why are you bringing those in here at 8 p.m. on a Sunday?” Just an hour before, Jennifer and I had been snuggling on the couch and enjoying Fixer Upper together on HGTV. We’d watched in wonder as Chip and Joanna Gaines, the hosts of the show, transformed an outdated house into a modern dream home. The biggest change happened when Chip and his crew took down several walls on the main floor to create an open living space. What had once been dark and closed off was now bright and free-flowing. Watching that episode, I had been overcome by the awareness that my home was dark and closed off as well. The people on TV had received this amazing gift from the Gaineses, but what about my own wife and children? Secure in my plan, I pointed at the wall separating our kitchen from the living room and told Jennifer, “We both like the idea of an open-concept living space. So I’m going to tear down that wall.” “You’re going to start a construction project now?” she asked. Mild concern was long gone; major panic was close at hand. “You’re not Chip Gaines!” Whoa. The gauntlet had been thrown down. “I’m not Chip?” I repeated. “What does Chip know that I don’t know?” In my mind, it was game on. Gagnon verses Gaines! Finished talking, I confidently drove my hammer through a section of drywall. Our home renovation project had begun! A little over an hour later, I stepped back to admire my work. Every inch of drywall had been pulled free, revealing the wooden studs. So far so great! Feeling genuinely proud of myself, I texted a contractor friend of mine with some pictures of my success. Just a few seconds later, I received a Facetime request. It was that same friend. “Show me the top of your wall, Josh!” he said, not even bothering with “Hello.” I angled the phone upward so he could see where the wall met the ceiling. “Oh, thank goodness,” he breathed. “I was worried you were taking down a load-bearing wall. I didn’t want your house to collapse on you tonight when the wind blew.” I had tried to walk out of the room so Jennifer wouldn’t hear, but one glance at her face told me I was too late. Her mouth was wide open in an O of shock. Jennifer didn’t say anything. But we both knew the score—Chip: 1, Josh: 0. The renovation project continued over the next couple of weeks, but by the time I finished, it was pretty clear I would never host my own HGTV series. Whatever, Chip!

As I think back on that memory, I can’t help but wonder why I was so driven to take down that wall. What could have motivated me to do such a thing without any planning or even any real thought? I’m afraid I know the answer: discontentment. When I saw how nice the project house turned out on TV, my own home suddenly seemed insufficient. Not good enough for me and my family. I wish I could say that was the only time I’ve had a problem with discontentment, but the truth is that I struggle with it every day. In fact, I’ve come to realize that feeling like I never have enough is my greatest vice. I will admit I’ve missed out on chasing after some of my dreams and living out my best life now while comparing my life to everyone else's around me. Have you ever fallen into the comparison trap? Have you ever found yourself discouraged by a bad day, week, or month, and been unable to break out of the downward spiral in your head? I know you have because I have, too, and I am here to encourage that you don’t have to be stuck there.

It is time to remind yourself of what God thinks of you and who He says you are: Child of God. Dearly loved. Priceless. Forgiven. Wanted. May you stop focusing on the disappointment of who you are not and the discontentment of what has not happened for you, and instead choose to live today grateful for who God says you are and all He has given you.

Prayer

God, today I claim Your promises about who I am in You. I am a Child of God. I am loved by You. I am forgiven. And I am filled with your dreams. I choose today not to live in disappointment or comparison, but to be confident in the dreams You have placed within me. Amen.

Respond

What are some of the lies you tell yourself that stop you from pursuing your biggest hopes and dreams?

Who is God to you? List His characteristics as reminders that you can trust Him to come through for you.

What are some things or people in your life that you need to stop comparing yourself with? How are those things holding you back from the hopes and dreams God has placed within you?