Faith Over Fearনমুনা

When I'm afraid, the last thing I want to do is surrender. In fact, the very thought can feel terrifying. The more out of control I feel, the more I’m tempted to fight for control, as foolish as that is. I’ve learned through much pain and regret, my greatest strength comes, not through my will or ability to orchestrate events, but rather, by yielding to the One greater than anything I might face. Though surrender always feels terrifying in the moment, I’ve discovered it places me in the best position possible—God’s hands. 

Early in my marriage, my relationship with my husband began to crumble. We routinely fought for ourselves, which placed us at constant war with one another. Our home was filled with arguments and our hearts became loaded with hurt and distrust. God quietly, yet persistently, called us to Himself, to surrender all we were, desired, and fought so vehemently to control at His feet, so that He could work in and through us. So that He could restore and heal what we’d systematically shattered. 

It took landing in a divorce lawyer’s office before either of us had the courage to release our grip and let God take control. Once we did, however, everything began to change. As we yielded to Him, He unleashed His love, mercy, and grace within us, then from us. He changed our perspectives, reduced our fears, and brought insight and clarity to our faulty, deceived thinking. Though our journey to healing wasn’t easy or quick, it was steady and progressive. Now, over twenty years later, I look at all He’s done— the beauty He created where ugliness once grew—and I’m so grateful God gave us both the strength and the courage to yield to Him. 

In the years that have followed, I’ve faced many chances to grasp for control or release my grip. And here’s what I’ve learned. Every time I’ve tried to run my life, I’ve landed in a mess. But I’ve never regretted relinquishing all into my Savior’s hands. He’s the only One able to bring life and health to those things that feel chaotic and dead. All He asks is that we trust and surrender to Him. He takes full responsibility for everything else. 

~Jennifer Slattery