The Dating Manifestoনমুনা

Service

Your single season is a great time to serve. There’s a reason Paul said that unmarried men and women can, without distraction, be focused on how to “please the Lord.” We have time, attention and energy to give. And there are many great places to invest.

Start by taking a spiritual gifts test if you haven’t already. Figure out what you’re great at. Then decide what specifically you’re passionate about. As Bill Hybels says, what’s your ‘holy discontent,’ that thing that gets you riled up, that makes you want to be part of a solution, change or renewal?

Find out what’s going on in your church or community along these lines. If it doesn’t exist, create it. Or, you may feel compelled to fill a hole that already exists. Maybe it’s a ministry you’ve never tried or even considered before; check it out. Churches always have critical needs that must be filled. This may be your time to fill one of them. I’ve done my share of snack and coffee service; I’ve filled communion cups; I’ve helped hang drywall. Am I amazing at these things? No. But I can take direction. And when a need is there, I occasionally see it as my turn to step in.

This is also a great time to do mission trips, work projects and longer-term volunteering. Young adults are often criticized for being lazy, entitled and unwilling to commit to anything. Here’s a chance to prove folks wrong. Set an example a la 1 Timothy 4:12, showing that you’re a self-starter who is willing to dig in, get things done, and lead change. You’ll turn some heads for sure. After rehearsing all the great things about singleness, my final point is going to sound weird. But here it is: Your single years are a great time to start investing in marriage, both the marriages around you, and your own future marriage.

Soak in everything you can right now. Read marriage books. Go to marriage conferences. Interview married couples. Find out what this marriage thing is all about. Singles who see marriage in their future should be passionate about marriage. We should be students of it. The first few years of marriage are an adjustment — sometimes an especially tough one. Know what to expect so you can meet it all head-on. Then you can truly enjoy the process.