Losing My Voice To Find It By Mark Stuartনমুনা

My Bronco desperately needed a new battery and barely started on a warm day. It was a decade old and showing signs of age. It was all I had left. Everything I touched felt frozen. The seat. The steering wheel. The ignition. I paused before inserting the key. I didn’t know how to move on, or if I wanted to. Everything that gave purpose to my life had come to an end. . . . 

“God, if you’re here, start this truck. I need you to start this truck.” . . .

I turned the key in the ignition. Several things happened at once.

I felt the warmth of a lion’s breath come over me. The Bronco was no longer cold.

The engine started with a growl.

A song started playing loudly through the radio. I recognized it immediately. . . .

The song was called “Good Life.” We’d written it long ago for my friend Luis, after his wife left him. The first verse starts with the line, “I’ve watched my dreams all fade away / and blister in the sun. / Everything I’ve ever had is unraveled and undone.” The song went number one on Christian Hit Radio, but hadn’t been on a playlist for years. I’d never felt more alive. I felt my heart pounding in my chest. The second verse began.

Loneliness has left me searching for someone to love.

Poverty has changed my view of what true riches are.

Sorrow’s opened up my eyes to see what real joy is.

Pain has been the catalyst to my heart’s happiness.

My heart raced with the rhythm of guitars, and my tears fell with each crash of cymbals, and my spirit swelled with each chorus as words I’d written for someone else returned in the echo of God’s heart and washed over me. I gripped the wheel and lowered my head against my hands. I whispered the next chorus. My broken voice in the Bronco sang harmony with my restored voice over the radio, and for a moment, my voice was complete.

Tears fell from the vault before God separated the waters. He knew me then. From the foundation of the world, he knew about this moment. Since before there was sound, God had known this song. He’d prompted my heart to write it and somehow ordained it to be played on the radio at the exact moment I turned that key of the Bronco. It was God’s answer to my question if he was there. Just starting the car would have been enough. The rest was a lavish display of his love, and I knew in that moment, God had me. No matter what happened next, I would be okay.

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