Testimony: A 10-Day Devotional By Gloria Gaynorনমুনা

He Won’t Let Go

I’ve been a committed Christian since 1982. I say I’ve been a committed Christian since then because some time after I decided to get serious about God, I found a baptismal certificate that reminded me that I had made that decision years before, when I was just 16 years old. But, after that incident--baptism and all that--I grew up. I allowed peer pressure and all the fun that young people like to indulge in take my mind off and my heart away from the Lord. I’m more than certain my story isn’t unique. But, let me tell you, if you haven’t had the experience I think hearing someone else’s is worthwhile. 

We all think we’re just taking a normal route through life, making our own choices and decisions about the things we should do, the people we would associate with, the places we should go, etc.... But as we enter the business world or whatever jobs or career we choose, our choices often become more plentiful and more diversified. We never suspect for a moment that we are being led--lured even--to a set of choices that certainly our parents would never have set before us. I am sure a similar scenario happens to everyone as we grow up and leave home and the constant guidance and protection of loving, caring, wise and understanding parents. We often think they are old, overbearing, strict and no longer in touch with how times have changed. 

This is exactly how my life went until one day I found myself in a place where I knew I was out of my depth. I needed advice from someone who was wise, experienced and cared about me and my future. Unfortunately, my mom had passed away when I was 25 years old and she had been my rock. After a few years on my own, I began to feel alone and insecure. I had gotten caught up in trying to be in with the in-crowd; and since my rock, my foundation had been snatched out from under me, I was easy prey for that sly, old adversary who the Bible says, “walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Pet. 5:8)

I was being enticed to hang out with some people who indulged in drugs; and since this was the norm for the “in crowd,” I was expected to comply. A party was set for that evening, and I did not want to go, but I was insecure and afraid that if I didn’t I would no longer be accepted in the group. As I prepared to go to the event, I came across my mom’s Bible. I sat down in my bedroom and reflected on what my mom would think about this crowd and my hanging out with them. I began to ponder not going and thinking, “if my mom was here I wouldn’t need these people." I thought, “Lord, why did my mother have to go?” She was my best friend, and I loved hanging out with her if none of my peers were around. It was as if she held my hand through every problem and concern, great or small. Once she was gone, I relied on the Lord to get me through. I literally felt like I had taken God by the hand so He could lead me from then on. Sitting there and thinking about that, I believed I heard the Lord in my spirit saying, “When you took my hand I took yours too, and I never let go.“ 

Needless to say, I didn’t go to the event that evening and rarely saw that group again. Praise God, I know that I serve a God who is my Jehovah Shamah...the Lord who is always near, for He Himself said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Heb. 13:5b (NAS) I am reassured that, no matter what I’m going through, no matter what decisions I am faced with, He will be there to guide me to safe pasture, away from any hurt, harm or danger. He has promised that, “when my mother and father forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.” Ps. 27:10 My mother and father had not forsaken me, but none-the-less they were gone; and I felt secure because I knew I could rely on my heavenly Father. I am assured that He’s got my heart and “He Won’t Let Go.”