Learning To Let Go // Love, Hope, & Forgivenessনমুনা

Relationship and Hope for the Broken Heart

I know it’s hard, this standing next to the one you love, despite their behavior, despite no reciprocation of your affections. They have gone a different way, and your heart is heavy. You look back, wanting to discern when the turn came when you pulled away from one another. You think that if you could only see it, anticipate the separation, you could work to change it. Your desire is for reconnection, reunification. You cling to hope but there are days when it doesn’t feel like enough.

You wonder where the breaking point will be—not for the relationship—but for your heart. How do you keep hoping, holding on to a dream that seems like it is dying?. You long for control, for a way to fix what is broken. You long to know the right formula, crack the code on love, on forgiveness, on joy, on trust.

I am so sorry this happened. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I am sorry for the unrest you feel, the turbulence in your soul, the questioning of your worth, your ache for a relationship that builds in strength. Not one that falls, no matter what you do, apart.

Release the dream to me now, son, daughter. Release your dream for love. Release your expectations, your memories of the past. Release your doubts, your battle against the pain. I am for you. I have never left you. In the night, when the loneliness is sharp, in the long stretches of day when work cannot distract from the ache of your heart, I am with you, I am carrying you, I have my arm underneath you, your strength when you fear the next step.

What you need to remember is that what I see and what you see are two different things. I want you to see the more I see for you. I want you to realize the power of choosing to hope, still, despite pain, despite outcomes that feel like dead ends. I am for you. I know the pain of betrayal. I know the heartbreak that comes when trust is lost. I know what it is like to share your dreams, your deepest desires with someone and have them only pretend to love you (this was my story, with my friend). I know the pain of knowing their feelings of love were no match for yours.

And because I know this, you can count on me. Because I know this, you can trust me. Because my love for you strengthens you, energizes you, emboldens you, heals you, you can keep going. You can keep hoping. You can keep looking for the good things I have for you—expect them—and refuse to be deterred by lies that tell you any different.

What is ahead is a wide-open space of healing and rejuvenation for your soul. Do not doubt my goodness. Do not doubt my plan. Do not doubt that community and connection, restoration and adventure are ahead. Just ahead. Keep stepping. Keep looking. Keep doing the hardest thing that becomes less difficult each day you do it—keeping your heart open, looking to Me for the way.

I am the way to hope. I am the way to new life. I am the way to joy. I am the way to love. I am not holding out on you. I have not forgotten you. You are okay. You are okay. This is not all I have for you. Expect more. Dream more. Hope more. I will teach you how. You can count on Me.

Exercise:

Jesus reminds us that He knows what it’s like to experience pain, disappointment, and betrayal. He knows because He actually experienced them, as a flesh and blood man. He isn’t some high priest who doesn’t understand what we’re going through. He does understand.

So, we can listen to Him. We can trust and follow Him.

The practice of Lectio Divina is a way for us to hear Jesus, through His Spirit. The name, Lectio Divina, means “divine reading,” or “holy reading” in Latin. And it’s a spiritual practice that traces to the early Christians and their methods of reflecting upon and interpreting Scripture. Those methods morphed and matured over the centuries in the monasteries of Europe and eventually solidified into the form that many Christians use today.

The practice of Lectio Divina provides us a way to engage with Scripture, with God’s own words, in order to engage in a personal conversation with Jesus. And we need that. Because when we’re hurting—when we’re experiencing pain or disappointment or betrayal—and we cry out to God in prayer, too often we do all the talking and don’t give Him a chance to talk back.

With Lectio Divina, we give Jesus that chance.

What we’re going to do is this . . . you are going to read from Psalm 3 . In this Psalm, King David wrote about the awfulness of having to flee from His own son, Absalom, who’s leading a rebellion against him. You will read the same passages three times. 

So, go ahead and get ready. Get into a comfortable position. Put your feet on the ground. Take some deep breaths. Roll your shoulders. Relax.

The first time through, read each word carefully. Think about the specific words David chose, how he ordered them, which words he repeats. Consider the metaphors he uses. Notice the conversation. The give and take. The promises. And be on the lookout for what jumps out to you. Notice the words, phrases, or specific verses Holy Spirit might be highlighting for you.

Okay, here we go . . .

O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!

Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high.

I cry out loud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. 

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth

of the wicked.

From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people.

Now, as you read the passages a second time, engage your imagination. Put yourself into the scene. Try to feel what David is feeling.

O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!

Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high.

I cry out loud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. 

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth

of the wicked.

From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people.

Now, continue to use your imagination. Think about why Holy Spirit might have highlighted certain words for you. Consider why He might have chosen certain words to speak to you today. How might they apply to your circumstances? Do they speak to something you’re going through right now?

Now, when you read Psalm 3 for a third time, you will have a chance to turn David’s words into your own prayer.

O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me!

Tell Jesus about the struggle or conflict you are facing right now.

Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.”

Confess to Him your frustration, pessimism, resignation, despair.

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high.

Tell Jesus how you trust that His Spirit is protecting you now, that He is, even now, working to restore you and turn your circumstances around. 

I cry out loud to the Lord, and he answers me from his holy mountain. 

Tell Jesus that you know He’s listening; that He is powerful enough; and that He is good.

I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me.

I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side.

Declare to Jesus that you will not make decisions in fear, but in His strength. 

Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God!

Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked.

From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people.

Ask Jesus to come. Ask Jesus for help. Ask Him for rescue, now. And ask for blessing—blessings on you, on your circumstances, on your loved ones, and even on the people who might be bothering or hurting you.

Now, don’t do anything. Don’t talk. Don’t pray. Just sit in silence in the presence of Holy Spirit. Just embrace and enjoy the closeness of Jesus. Just relax and enjoy a few moments of doing nothing other than being with God. Feel His presence; feel His love for you.