Encouragement For The Brokenheartedনমুনা

The road to motherhood is a very rewarding experience, but sometimes that same path can be a painful journey. I always knew I wanted to have babies and find myself knee deep in Sippy Cups, onesies, pudgy fingers and wet kisses. However, I never expected heartbreak could accompany the journey to being a mom.

When our first son came along I knew I wanted another baby pretty quickly, so my husband and I began trying again. My second pregnancy started out smoothly. Since I had already walked through one healthy pregnancy, we actually made an announcement in my first trimester to our church family. 

As I was headed into the blissful second trimester, complications ensued. A visit to the bathroom gave clues that something was going tragically wrong. Upon visiting my doctor, an ultrasound revealed there was no flutter of a heartbeat, that the pregnancy was over, and our baby was now in heaven.

I was heartbroken. My body had failed me, and I hadn’t been able to sustain and grow that precious life. The life I envisioned of holding, feeding, cuddling and snuggling no longer existed here on earth. At times the physical pain accompanied by the emotional pain was just too much to bear. 

During my recovery I was blown away at the amount of love and support I received from our church family. Initially, I was so angry we had announced this pregnancy early and that everyone knew my pain. My preference is to feel my heartbreak alone and cry out to God from the comfort and privacy of my home. I’m not sure if it’s because of who we are in leadership or how I’m wired that I choose seclusion; it’s probably a mix of both. But processing pain when I feel like people are watching tends to overwhelm me.

God remained faithful and didn’t want me to process my loss alone. He wanted me surrounded by the love of His people. Instead of sympathy, I received empathy from other women who had felt loss similar to mine and knew my pain. What initially felt like a “mistake” with our early pregnancy announcement became a blessing. I was brokenhearted, but I wasn’t alone. God surrounded me with a loving group of people who walked by my side and who held me up when I felt like falling.

What does it look like to see God’s blessing in the midst of disappointing circumstances? 

By Brandi Wilson